I miss my own talent--singing

in lab wif khad,,m bored and just screw my life 30 minutes ago~i ate my pills before lunch..n now,,i mean jap g pengsan..thumbs up,,kalo nk bnuh dri xsusah pn juz take another tablet..(start calling cken and tell hantar ak g hospital now --if)..and if i ever collapse on my bed pn no one ever care..so dats a piece of life i had,,i have mountain of stuff to do~juz keeping mysev busy...but juz now!!!d drama was so...urghhhhhh..damn~i was so segan till i dun wanna go out frm d toilet..sigh..bodo la bodo~~chill aisya u shud juz chill..anyway~my lucky charm amulet had turn into bad luck seance..but i made it to d final..miss said she loves our script!!!which is my script..lol..suddenly i miss singing..i had stop for 4 years (ehm ehm ehm..testing2)..my mariah carey song (terbawak2 ngan tira~~jelez2 tira still sing)..i miss geng jules main band (the bandage sengal) aidie --sepoyo2 manusia kt dunia..sometimes i feel like poking him with his celo!!and Ayish!!!!wherz my song dat i wrote form 4 dlu????hish2..i miss my nasyid gang as well~tho fana sarcasm killing me,m d second vocals...yeay..i bumped into our snap2 laz nyte tho..

Sakit Hati

Huarghhhhhh..my head spinning like heli blade..for d past hour!!!!sakit hati yg teramat sgt!!stupid compensation assgnmnt and idiot drama..i hate everything dat we called assignment~feel like a trash~dala mmg kne treat like a trash!!!hmmmmmmmmmmm...penat la penat..gle la gle!!!!everyone juz need to stay 1 radius frm me..i hate crowds and working out to stay away frm those..and cool someone tell me there'z a kuching open for rugby...how m i suppose to noe!!!even i hadn't watch all black play for ages..u noe..we dun have supersports or espn in d HOSTEL..how pity,wow tooooooo pity...enough for d brag and sakit hati then i'll go fucked up all over again~spare the curse..walk d pain..(is dat a wisdom????) whatever i dun look like a wise person..now its 4 i haven't finish that idiotic assignmnt..i've been workin on it since yesterday!!!haih...sakit hati!!!for everything..i can't concentrate,i didnt eat my ubat cuz sakit hati---wif assgnmnts ++

Memory Lane

If You're Mine -everything i dream about, everything i talk about, one thing i can't live without...-( Marcos Hernandez, Monday, June 2009 , 10:43:13 PM )
Bona Cela (Saturday, May 30, 2009, 8:04:04 PM)
Missing Star (Yuna, June 2009)
Paranoid (Kanye West, June 2009 )
Matchbox Romance (Tiger Lily,June 2009)
Please Dont Leave Me ( Pink, July 2009 )
21 Gun (Greenday, Sunday, July 05, 2009, 2:17:55 AM)
Let It Go (Cavo, Sunday, July 05, 2009, 12:19:35 AM )
Love At First Sight (Jay Brannan, Tuesday, July 21, 2009, 4:30:36 PM)
Be With You (Akon, October 2009)
Unknown Song (ZH, Saturday, November 14, 2009, 4:28:59 AM)

tiring

i am so sorry bloggie..err (why??) cuz m such a bad health slave,trust me..everyday i slept at 11..even now..d headache killing me..m just dropping by to check on journal..ahhhh..brc open day tiring..hmm..anyway..whatever,m off..cuz i cant barely stare too long on d screen and i dun hav blogger on phone..and dat stupid reload thing isnt working..

Wednesday Back!Stupid Joke!

Diz morn, i woke up dizzy and puke whatsoevr~lalala for me,,went to claz like normal wednesday i had,,believe me whatever i read laz nyte was nothing but a waste,,preparing mysev dat wasn't dat well prepared,,i was stupefied by my anxiety..yeah of course 100 metres walk caused me to loose 2 days energy bottle i suppose..d claz was awful wif suprises..Dr Khairil say out loud and point at me "u guarantee FAILED" arghhh..plez dun make me sum up my sucks emotion math..erghhh..he laughed hard like diabolic psychopath y bru lepas killed someone (he gotta check his last karyotypes XYY gene was so obvious in him)..suddenly!!!!time2 my head my heart my limb my intestine my kidney wanna blow every liquid dey ever had he annouced d name..I DIDNT FAIL AT ALL!!!IN FACT I WAS AMONG THE LUCKY FEW PPL WHO PASSED!!!darn dr khairil made my adrenaline punch my tummy like boxing game~his jokes was a crazy idiotic supplement to my heart rate!!my pale cheek went even paler..10% of d claz passed and d leftover failed..gosh,how he marked paper anyway..i got 20++ over 30 (Dr K was really violating his lecture ethics-kejam)..d thing is he noe me~and his psychotic lecture claz was spooky,,i had to die every wednesday nite for his claz,,"read textbook before claz..yada..yada..yada.."..rite now m having a rsult for stupid medical diagnose,,which end up with .."see ur doctor for further diagnose.." i was like "hah??".. m goin back diz April after exam~huuu (imagine Dr Kubendran saying diz "u ni y u so small"..yeah ryte doc. dun think i forget how u made my hand swollen like a bee stung..i hate him taking out my blood)..and fainted on d chair was so embarrassing!! gez i can't do futsal anymore..haih,in case d ball went straight to my cervix bone gosh!i had a stupid flow of ovarian cycle!loosing blood for 3 weeks~imagine..i was suppose to be a vampire but somehow my blood drained out..jeez,pathetic aint it???ryte now is not a good time for problems so..i need to keep at least 1 radius frm trouble dat will trouble my body system (carbonated drink-say NO)..no stress (yeah ryte i have 3 assignment due diz week) m so busy wif faculty,debate,stupid organizer..BUNGA RAYA open day..sure next week m gonna collapse like pentagon on 11th september..whoaa..my head really had a big bang now,daa~

Just Listen.Explain No More.Find ur Own Answr

I have emotion damage..heart damage..attitude damage..i give up explaining..because its all d truth i had,,wat shud i said?i cheat i lied?I AM NOT!!!dats y i justify mysev as innocent..y it always me indulge and screwed in diz thing..not my fault..i dun even start..i never start wen i see clear argument..i dun wanna but u did..I HAVE NO BOYS..AS IN MORE THAN ONE BOY IN MY LIFE..wat is so hard to see..come and see for ursev..or try put a stalker on me..and d answer will be ZERO!!!cuz m not lying..i hate ppl accuse me..keep accusing and keep on doing d accused thing..it hurts my frontal lobe..who shud i screw now..my friend?the one dat behave like a complete sarcastic idiot..or my boyfriend?who keep accusing me for things i NEVER done..arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..this is freakin me out..okay everyone..buckle up i'm goin to mars..and never coming back..laz nyte was awful..i have migrain and everything,,just thinking how and what truth dat u want exactly..shall i shot mysev 3 time in front of u?den only u believe me..ahhhhh screw everyone..m not gonna curse..i had changed!!!i'm never a PLAYER..LIAR..screw everyone..screw!!!!!can i just please at least get a hearing???cuz..i have no one to talk to..m all alone in diz case and i cant drag others into diz..diz is so pathetic..i hate to be sick everytime i have a fyte!!!!i dun wanna!!!i hate fyte!!!please just listen..cuz m just gonna tell u for d laz time..i have nothing to do wif other BOY!!!

U HURT ME

how m i suppose to write wif bling2 in my eye..all of d few hours was nonsense,,hmm,i dun wanna say things anymore,,i just a SOMEONE to think..syezly it hurts,imagine for the past month u keep urself in an ice cube..m the only one trying to making him see..wats wif everything..but wen my effort always end up sucks..it hurts me..cuz 1. i did not lie..2. what do i get by lying 3. whoelse gonna be accused as my bf next?? it does hurt me wen he's not listening..an argument that end up wif -sigh- and barging into freaky lines..m d one who always wif justification..sometime u just have friends dat act like a crazy brat..but wat can u do..u cant change them..and they dun have place in my heart,,dey just fill spaces in my brain wif deir stupid sick jokes..why think so complicated???i always the one who being accused with all of those lunatic stuff..i dunno why he didnt see my effort..i dunno why he didnt see my honesty..BECAUSE MAYBE he didnt see how do i feel...he didnt see how much i hang on wen he being cold..he didnt see anything BUT FAULTS..i mean my FAULTS..not his..he sees it clearly like a 78 font times new roman on the wall..and u can see it like with or without vision 20/20..do a lil thinking cuz u hurt me so much..(hope no one read diz) m gonna keep diz for myself..it does hurts

Weekend Disaster

its been days m not into diz blog..haih..tiring day..i lost my time on stupid pidato competition,,heee,,crap!!killing my time,suddnly m not into bands,music and everything..i wanna silence,i need space for silence..wonder wats gotten into my head diz weekend..after saturday passed den only i realize i hav like alps high assignment!wen diz semester gonna be over..yeeah,,worrying bout uncle some more.(in fever again)..hmm,,my life had turn to be pathetic diz weekend,doing unconscious stuff,lepaking wif ese gang,but honestly,,it was an empty,shallow laugh and dat was just a reflex talk..my brain wasnt ther,,its home..on bed,a cup of tea wif lemon..my brainy is not mentally ther,its everywher,wif uncle and perhaps 2% in disneyland..urghhh..what m i doing in diz life?hahaha..someone will listen? who????the biggest question dat even my mouth cant answer,,ages and getting older..forget about others,forget about ppl come and comfort u..m nothing than a shallow weak girl????i will never show dat!!!,discrepancy within my brain,heart,working limbs..its just messed up..headache..dats killing me,to know and resistant mixed up,,options like a suicide for me..fhew~~i hav no idea wen diz thought gonna end,,m not gonna make diz blog as my second journal,,one is enough..(my fav tagline ONCE IS ENOUGH TWICE IS TOO MUCH) just thinking of sleeping and go away frm problems..i help ppl but wher are they when i need one???how funny diz life,,m being nicce all the time,helping,comforting,supporting,careful wif my lines..i believe wat goes around comes around..but i just realize that MAYBE this world isnt round..instead its rectangle,pentagon shaped or what..huh..i hate wen it comes to diz measurement..m off..see ya in other post (if therz anyone reading)

BRINJAL IDIOTS FUCKED UP AGAIN

I wanna scream hell out LOUD..stupid pnye presiden persatuan!!!i've waited for them for hour to pick up handout details..NO ONE EVER COME!!!i was a TUNGGUL KAYU for an hour..shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!really freak out..at 6 only somebody text me i have test tonyte!damn!!!are u guys darn BLIND i was texting u guys at 11 am today and u replied at 6!!!!!i hate handphone and I HATE PPL DUN REPLY MY TEXT WHEN ITS DAMN URGENT!!!this is crucial man!!we need to confim diz by tmrow!!wtf..wtf..wtf..wtf..m so freak out brinjal!pumpkin!brocolli!capsicul!bean sprouts!cabbage!!!cauliflower!!!!!!i hate UNIMAS

:(( overindulge

This ain't happening..this ain't happening..haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...absurd (the only bad word dat can come out)..wat happen to my laundry!!!!!!!!!!!this is Shhhhhhhh..urghhhh..wats wif d pieces of fabric ruinin my laundry i have to RELAUNDRY..as in re-laundry... :( i went for a short meeting as invitation officer..WTP(whatheprada!new way of cursing)..i have piling up invitation to do..and great i have to give my numbers to anonymous!!screwed!!who give this position to me anyway..i dun like giving out my numbers!!!!!!!!!this is TOTALLY ABSURD..(breath in) (breath out) no i CANT relax..my laundry ruined and i hav to photocopy stuff at my shoppe whatsoever and dat guy was sooooo..aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!i cant take it..this is not F***ed up day but ANNOYING DAY EVER :(
this week is d only week dat i feel i wanna cry a river for it..darn~brinjal!pumpkin!brocolli!!arggggghh(m not gonna curse)..this is darn annoying man..i have to escort ppl to petronas..of course m gonna hav to voice out smth..fhew..i cannot be tired..i must not..cuz i'll..hmmm never mind,,dats emmm..forget it,gotta clean my desk..call ppl..adeh..drama practice tonyte..::the day aisya collapse::

Today no more bad luck plez

m i gonna die..hmm..doctor tell me that..this is just temporary...is loosing blood in a month temporary..hish..dun think too much..m i gonna be a vampire?i wanted to..but do i hav to loose blood that much..m getting paler..yeah..yesterday idea of going funeral was..emmmm...i dunno tho..today is a new day..hopin no more trouble cross by..i'm so freak out yesterday..crying on veng and rage..gosh..super freaked out

WHY DUN ANYONE WAKE ME UP!!I

:,( WHY DUN ANYONE WAKE ME UP!!I HAVE SLIDES TO DO!!uwaaaa..now m gonna have to work diz thing out and present wif not really a pleasant mood..the last time i remmber was askin a favor to take a minute nap!!!! but then i was so carried out!!its 3.45..this is bad~~~:((...
m being runner for debate this time around..cuz its british parliamentary debate style..and i hate to do british style..besides i dun have to do reading or homework for competition..and i have more and more job to be clean by this week :(( sorry uncle i was asleep without conscious..now m up and got slides to catch up.:,(.

Spill everything>>>uncle tiang jual bawang next to kdai CD

carving frm laugh,lucky i have one last nite..plain,simple..warm..i wish i cud never be breathing and time stops just for a joke..honestly~i just fall for him even more..ther shud be reasons of keeping this entire thing inside,,and i dun wanna let it go,,just for one night reason..i miss him damn much..have u ever feel dat ur life is over but u got a day of make up..??the last person that i noe i wanted to spend my another 100 years wif is uncle tiang dat sell bawang sebelah kdai cd..*dun mind eating onions for d rest of my life~~truthfully..he got this somekind of sparks u noe,,i dunno whether he got this manipulative art of vampire (u noe wat u saw in movie vammpy can hypnotize ppl)..haha..dun mind stayin in his charm joke,note that sarcasm always my best friend,and i just realize dat its not dat hard to make me happy..i just need an antibiotic..(illegally sold by uncle tiang)..because a few days ago i tot i wud nevr taste any of sugarly high time..i tot i wud never hear his joke (instead i got his voice stuck on my head saying "hello" tons of time in a stratified phone line)..it was like insulin to me,,like a love homeostasis predictions and flows..omg (i must be insane!!)..i shudnt be writing this here cuz this is so my journal words,twisting with language sounds a bit tranquilized wif love!!
its kindda weird wen u fell so hard,that u think u can never get up again,the only person u wanna see holding ur faith is him..i will never waste another 24 hours being a sober..he seem to be my everything and frankly, i dun even noe how those things starts its just like so ecstasy..wills and everything..(omg this is so my journal diary words)..but m just trying to tell the truth dat i really into him..if ther are reasons i cud give more than milllions..i deeply having this serious relationship issue..i love him even more!!and the rate of keeping him in my mind is obviously changing from every 5 hours to every 30 second..gosh..madly mad aisya..u gotta massive love struck (with uncle jual bawang sebelah kedai cd..*yeah..n m makcik jual kangkung..hahaha..)

WAITIN IN SKYPE~

Can't sleep suda..em,so just grab my novel and REREAD the thing all over,,yeah micheal blondie,,terase nk mkn choc INDULGENCE..:((..dunno wats wrong wimme,lately i was just in silent mood,maybe due to biz assignment extension,my head kindda nk blow,i didnt sleep for 2 days straight (tuesday and wednesday..) now all my limb feel numb and d most is my back killin me,,maybe cuz too much on d part wher i olmost kiss tos books..ngeee..book shower,,i had scanned 7 book and finish reading it for d good sake its performance appraisl text book..i went frenzy ttdo upside down on d floor *lucky i have rubber carpet!..i havent reli talking to ppl,cuz i spent most of my time alone and bz wif 40 page assignmnt and biz analysis..(ngaaaaa,,indeed its makin me crazy!!) --rubbing head y x itchy-- so juz spending time in fb,try to talk to ppl literary..i see mpp fill y fb inbox..heee..nyampah tol,,full la inbox wif slugs notifications,,i dun mind tos crap thing,,but i do mind if thers a meeting issue,,laz nyte meeting was canceled,,heaven~~omg for new books dat gonna sit togeda wif all my vampire novels collection..
i was about for skypy laz nyte *da berkulat my skype da..havent skypin since months..too bad reception kindda worst cuz its rainin shark and dolphin~i waited for 4 hours,,still nothing goin on,xcept fb and blogs can get thru..now da stat super laju da the line..yeeehaaa..but bored :(( m addicted to lgu belaian jiwa and ada apa dgn cinta and teristimewa..huhu..my 3 malay song crush..credit to mimie for bluetooth-ing tos song to my lappy..now kenot stop already..hmmm..i miss my vammpy,,stil in fever i gez,,reli miss him..til i dunno wat to do..dats y i stay in silence and keep mysev busy wif stuff..cuz i'm darn miss him..

Percubaan Bahasa Melayu

kau tahu betapa ku sayang padamu

hanya bidadari sebagai ganti

hanya takdir menentukan ia

oh belaian jiwa

baiklah,harini (sorry dunno d ryte spell) dlm sejarah,sy telah sedaya upaya dengan bantuan kwn sy utk men/meng aplikasikan bhasa melayu dgn sebaiknya…oh tidak..sy telah berjaya menahan diri selama 12 jam utk berbahasa melayu,satu pembangunan (is it d ryte word)..sy telah men(play)kan song ..eh slap..lagu melayu (bkn exactly melay song tp Indonesian song)..huuuuu..lihat(look) sy telah berusaha memperbaiki “spelling” (maafkan sy),,ini adalah untuk kepentingan sy sebagai setiusaha FSKPM..jadi...harus tahu menaip bahasa melayu..sungguh ayat formal sy agak hancur ditelan kegagalan terhadap penggunaan ayat y sesuai..(wuuu ayat complex tuuu)..sy telah “addict dgn lagu berikut:

belaian jiwa-innuendo

teristimewa-indigo

januari-glenn

ada apa dengan cinta-melly and ari lasso

sy agak sedih pd harini cuz sy rse sy xtau ape y sy rase (oh my god!!!dasyat la bm ak ni..what m I tryin to say is dat I kindda dunno how I feel)..

tiada puisi atau lagu,tiada potret tiada ______(xtau tp diz song super best,guitar!!!)

walau ku kembara sedunia..walau ketemu ramai wanita…

apakah y sy lakukan ini???sila beritahu dengan jelas apakah kelakuan ini (y cm plek je ayat ni)

baiklah,skunk kte men campur2 plak,bosan la men formal..tp sgt sedap lgu tu,skunk da melekat dlm otak mcm gam gajah (uwaaaa parabolic assumption y trok)..tp dlm byk2 pkataan ak agak blur ngan ejaan y mcm sebut lain tp taip len,agak plek la tp sapu je la,,nila masalah ak ble tlis bm,sesuka suki je nk pkai bhasa Cendawan zaman atom-patayya (apakah zaman ini)..ble informal rse xsesak nafas cm kne sekat getah “ban”..aaaahahahahah…mmg terase sengal ble try nk pki bahasa melayu,syez,tho bm ak A1 time spm sebub ak hafal word and line,,,trime kasey ckgu hazilah,,hahaha..ak bley je pki bhase bombastic retorik terlampau yg mnecederakan otak ntok pk..tp ak bley men language (sorry exception)…je..ble wat karangan (summary essay) ala lpe la nme dye dlm bm..tp yg pendek2kan tu..mmg la semput nk buang sebub sume npk cm btol..tbe2 ak rindu nk gne pkataan sbub and skunk..da asyik terbawak2 bi..sampai tdo pn mengigau(btol ke eja ni?) meroyan dlm bi…sungguh la ak ptot kne keje kt dewan bahasa..kalo pki yg cmni mmg la bley ble nk wat ayat formal naaaa…time tu org y ak xpnah ak telefon pn ak Telefon semata2 nk suro translate,,thap tatabahasa y pening2 lalat terhantuk tiang bendera..yeay,,xsangke ak hebat gak bwat ayat sengal dlm bm,,ak mmg terer pn just formal dan ad setengah/sesetengah ejaan y ak nk tercabot neuron pk..kan da pajang karangan ak ni,,sme je bm ke bi,idea ttp mencurah2 ke ladang gandum..

Thursday is BACK,i hate u,i love u,both in case

Gosh,i dreamt i accidently deleted this blog~horror and someone is pushing me down to a stream,,indeed big..and....fhew,,weird i dreamt bout ppl i never ever cross in my life,washin away all the weirdness..m goin for laundry!!its thursday,,,so let just wait till its 12,m goin for lunch cuz thurday alway independent day (miss independent)..m gonna do laundry alone,in house alone,reading novel alone,lunch alone,walking alone,drinking nescaffe alone,even talk to myself..duhhh..m busy this is kindda a short *sgt3 short..i made a short poem

ohhh...the foehn comin fill ecstasy within

turn the lid and set me free

neither hard nor harsh

velvet touch tranquilize me

warmth riddled through

ardent passion make me blithe

life is real ,dream were wrong

or otherwise

i'm no with answer its who will

i never

i was the bud of not belong to any

till then

effloresce caught a heartbeat

yes my language

i speak trust and honesty

i speak love and eternity

the beat tells me

you're my name now hence

yours

i love writing poems,,n i reli love wen ppl dun understand cuz i dun wanna ppl to understand,i cud be the next shakespere in suit wearing high heels ohhhh crap...wrong2!!!shakespere in sneakers,CEO to be.......lol..i hvent find the title for diz poem tho,i may look weird cuz what i did not like what am i within,,but thats me..rocky marshmallow (is it???) whatever..m getting FLUIDS MECHANICS notes from ting2..m not crazy just insane,i wanna fill my time doing smth and i wanna now everything i can stay shut up wen i knew it and laugh at the back wen they think i noe nothing bout it!! fact:the only octopus dat can kill human is blue ring octopus,,noe why?dig it urself....i dun want ppl to laugh at me,,cuz i wanna have reason to laugh at them,and i have every reason to laugh cuz i start to know something..thats ME!in case u people missed out that part when u noe me..lol

Pesanan Terakhir (ak bkn prank-er)

heyho..still lg dlm bm,ni last post dlm bm kay,,nak muntah hijau ak pk ayat2 serabut sabut,,ak sungguh suka bahasa caca merba ni,,npela nk susah payah susun ayat y menderitakan ntok wat surat,ala kalo ckp biase2 leh je pki bhase ni,ble time writing ngade la nk formal,last2 org buang gak paper tu,,xpn msuk mesin kerat ketas..heee..sungguh buang mse,,anyway btol ni last,ak xtahan pki bhase ni,ak rse kasar yg teramat sangat amat ..kan da kuar structure bru pmbinaan ayat,ak the next usman awang kay,,tp today just rse plek yg gle plek..xtau nk ckp pe tp syez ak rse xnk duk kt bumi g,ak xkesah obama ke najib nk buang ak g zuhal,ak rse ak lahir kt stu..cool what!sungguh ak rela,jdik alien xyah nk ade kepeningan xyah ad assignment cm gnung kinabalu,,dah naik juling mte ni bce journal!!!da bersachet2 nescaffe ak minum tggu ble dye activate stu part lm brain n tunggu ak berguling2 ats lantai..wua..ak ngantok tp keje ak cm ape je!!!xleh2..gle la we yak addict dgn lgu teristimewa!!!indigo..tp terase nk mara ble denga lagu KEKASIH GELAPKU-UNGU..eeee..apakah!!!xske2..cm bohong je d song..y mesti d guy gnekn d gurl,,ke ak y xphm lgu tu..ye2 je..
tbe2 ak igt kt vampy,rse cm nk tanye soklan btol ke dye ske ak?sbub ak mcm gle syg dye..(ya rabbi ni y ak xske bm ni..ko akn directly phm ape yg ko tlis)..for me la,,org xtau..ak je tau,ak leh ckp diff thing kt org tp ak je tau ape yg ak tau..hmmm..ape ak merepek ni,,dey all bley ckp suro ak move on,,,ak bley pretend ak da move on..hallo ak still ngan dye kay!!tp diz thing wat ak xtdo mlm..sbub diorg xtau..ak y rse bkn diorg,,ak y tau nape ak ske dye..ak je tau faham x?!!!n ak xrse nk share npe ak ske dye,,bia ak sorang je tau,,ak pnah remind dat ak nk org treat ak equal..mean if ak bg banyak mne org tu kne bg as byk as what ak bg..(bukan barang kay) tp commitment..hish..kne gak terangkan abc to z..kang ad gak y misunderstood n ak kne blow smpai china ke Alaska..come on la,,ak bkn org yg betray ape yg ak preach,,ak akn ckp bende y ak akan buat,,ak bkn mainkan org man!ak xmainla pasang 2 3 4 10..1000..gle apeke..mcm ak mkn gak,1 lauk mean 1 direction je,I jenis,n xbercampur..syez ak xske tgok pmpuan y mainkn laki..tho ak girl (with 0.5 boyish) hahah..syez ak nyampah tgok,,dah ad 1 satu jela,,menyusahkan dri nk psg byk2,,love bkn cm credit card,swap sne sni..gle tol..kalo xske ckp tros terang..xyah nk forward2 smpai lme2..kalo just nk main2 pegi la blik zaman high school,men puas2..ni da adulthood kalo nk prank2 org mmg xbermoral nmenye..ni bukan post emo kay..ak just ckp ape y ak rse btol..tho kalau org y bwat tu kwn baik ak sekalipun ak rela ckp go straight to hell..ak xske tgok org gne org len,prank2..sbub kurang gne otak ntok berpk....nyampah siot,tgok tuka2 org kejap ngan org len tbe2 ngan org len..kalo kawan ak cmtu mmg ak sepak terajang la wey..syez thap Cendawan,,try la put urself in their shoe..kalo ko xske kne prank jgnla prank org,,what goes around comes around...diz is nasihat for BOYS AND GIRLS OUTtHERE...thats all for today..ak nk msuk mood English lg..japg nk tuka lgu lm playlist..muak da ak ulang2 ada apa dengan cinta,,tp mmg ak vote for indigo n innuendo!!!thumb up (xtau pe bende dlm bm)

I LOVE ...........................................

I love JULIAN CASABLANCAS!!!thanx to grissie henry william,,getting me into this crush..wow,,i really love boys (he's a man and married..too bad) with messy hair~i love THE STROKES now!!!goin to grissie and get some of his song!!yeay~~m tuning into diff channel now..no more dovey corny song..freeze dat kiddie justin bieber jap..m goin back to sleep afterwards tho..so..let me finish my addiction..i had been typing the stupid performance appraisal literature review,tmmorow will be the submission date!!!shit!!i cant besukaria...damn..i tot i finish those earlier this month already..hmmmm..for the god sake...i wanna strangle someone..sesape yg terase diri dye harus distrangle plez..dun make me pissed!darn!i wanna eat choc indulgence like 5 slice plez~~~i have this hazelnut cake very d nice..superb d tasty..i can bare with 1 whole cake..(i love cakes now!!!!).. a few days a go i made it for caramel cheese cake..last sunday i had choc cheese cake..man m all about cake!!!!but plez no mango cake..it taste weird and even for big slice of banana chocs... VAMPIRE NOVEL+CHEESE CAKE+ CONTINENTAL CAKE..(secret recipe&starbuck) gle la !!!i miss fruit tart wif jelly at lavender..and french bread my dad fav's..i miss choc breadcake jgak..ngeee...

FOODS THAT I MISS LIKE GILAK

Fruit tart-Lavender

French bread

Burger King

Kiwi smth2 kat Dunkin and d ball2 thingy..wuuu

New Zealand ice cream

Caramel Pop Corn at TGV~ngeee..

Steak at JUSCO bukit raja

Chewing Gum lolypop at Giant Shah Alam

Egged Curry Puff kt MATRIX Pahang

Cream Puff at Bread Story The Mall depan my high school

Gardenia APRICOT toestem Bread!!

Nestle nestum energy bar wif strawberry

watermelon y btol2 normal

Laksa Penang~~

No ONE can handle it

Frankly dun wanna get into the bottom line wher u noe truth dat ppl were bashing u up at the back (diz is not paranoia activity)..haven't sleep for 2 days and have assess caffeine,,diz week is the busiest,juz enable me to go for classes den 12 hours later comin back n start typin on assignmnt..pretty not soooo cool,,suddenly i feel like rolling back my time to february..i juz wish no one knew me..for d god sake i hate crowd attention bout stuff i did..ahhhhhh meeting again today!!and do i need to remind everyone in mahasiswa,DO NOT CALL OR TEXT ME during my claz..come on ppl...i had enough trouble cuz m sitting infront asshole!!i reli wann get 1st claz honor..so plez..don't kay~(sighing)
i wish m american or smth,,reli hate being a.....u noe..do i need to mention here? (ppl got too much stereotype thingy)-urgggghhh crap ppl..i started to hate~start to plant a hatred tree ..
hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u hate u earth ppl!!!!i am frm venus...
i dun want heart,liver,neurotransmitter,amygdala,kidney,pancreas throwin it away in trash can!!!!!!!..i had my vices and no one can handle it,,,i mean it...no one can handle it,,tho they say they do,,like how u handle my vices anyway??????tell me a way to handle,,handle is not changing it,handle is not molding it..handle is control..handle is manage..handle is deal..handle is bare..do i need to explain more???i hate it wen ppl say "can u try diz way instead of dat way" stupid ke??????

Aisya Life Analysis

My parietal lobe saket~I think I have too much force on attention rather than my intelligent part,,*try to eradicate divided attention with diverge into more than 36 tv channel..(ape y di pk aisya oiii)..this is really disrupting my prior purpose for my task!!!i dun wanna sounds like academic freak~noe wat, I have loaded of information transfer and its getting overload,,from 36 channel into 70++ (like astro)..

Too much influence in business analysis which leads me crazy 72 hours of digesting alternatives in my head,,its 80% leading to personal matter rather than learning issue!!..m so infected by this maniac analysis,,drive a key factors..(Aisya scenario planning)..1. Economic matter 2. Social Dimension 3. Political (parent) 4. Culture and norms 5.Health and welfare 6. Performance value

AISYA LIFE ANALYSIS

(according to DR KHAIRIL—most likely to happen)

Scenario 1 Increase Profit and Revenue(duet pocket)	Scenario 2 89% FUN per semester	Scenario 3 Health Det: Migraine and Gastric
Mom and dad is not stingy and stringent any law..lol	Mom and dad will screw my life if they noe I’m fooling around	Mom and dad will send me to Dr Kuben every holiday and do some blood test and worst I have regular checkup..uuu
More vampire novels will be on my desk..till no more space	Addiction inhibit cuz I might get initial warning for upcoming economic downturn (as in my money menyiput)	There will be new addiction of other genre of novel cuz Dr Kuben wont allow me to be in vampire world and think so much bout the blood sucker…cuz my migraine will get worst..lol (whatta theory)..and I will skip meal just to get to the end of the storyline
Happiness level will pop out and will be able to overcome boredom and ignore threats	50/50 of jovial and others emotion swing,,heee	Will spend more time growling in pain and sleep and have no time to be happy or sad because pain is more or less take control over everything
I’ll be a bit friendly and start smiling to everyone or at least no stupid faces..and more friends..	More friendly than ever in my clan,,because learn too much fun..and its time to rub dirt on ur butt..ngee	I’ll be dull and monotonous and gloom and no time to make any social relation or even online socialization..urghh..too bad..
Same culture but with added value of trusting people and enjoy life to the max because we deserve it	New added culture of fun over the limit..hahaha..and value to be a ble to divide time for study and fun..multiple task I can deal..so with intelligent..hahaah..poyo gle!	Stagnant culture because culture only change wen we socialize around and experience new stuff..what can u do wen u have 99% time on ur bed..
Make it to 3.7 and dean list,,study with happiness will make a high score in basket	Make it to 3.5 because the 0.2 more had been abducted by fun issue and few threats	Make it 3.4..uuuu…cuz byk tdo and ubat..and gosh life gonna be boring like freakin damn hell super boring..

WHAT!!!!RM 131~oh my prada--dats how my SUNDAY end

Alamak!!!!jaw drop kejap~feel like in a clown house..ngeee..slap my face 3 times,ears rse nk bleeding listening to what d librarian said.."ktk pun account kna block" hahahhaha..swear to god,,heart rate dah nk exceed 170 per minute,,i was like.."again??come again?" drown in imagination already,,i have overdue fine..sebanyak RM131.00..Oh my Prada!!"tok melebihi lecturer pun fine dik"..rse nk tergelak berguling jatuh sampai LG Cais..hahaha..this is really what we call finance management probs..lol,,gotta pay tmrow or m not gonna be able to borrow any books,,eventually thanx to mimie,,for lending me her student card..mmg jaw drop agak banyak wen he said 131..as in hundred and thirty one in words..lord!over the limit dah ni!!!the librarian sempat lg nk wat lawak kering on d counter.."skit jak ya"..hello i can buy 3 vampire novels with 131 buck..huwaaa :((..tula padan muke..--telling myself to relax and chill-- syez funny thap cendawan!mmg kne gelak..mimie who was standing next to me tergeliat tongue nk becakap..lol..honestly i was stunned nasib dat pakcik baik..and lucky its sunday!!and not much ppl around..if not!!!!its embarrassing ..i think m d first student yg overdue thap cendawan..hahaha..aisya..aisya..mie mmg xleh stop saying gle kentang la ecah!hahahaha..aduhaiiii....

Ther goes another funny thing,i fell asleep after balik frm Cais..and woke up at 12 am..as in 12 tengah malam..almost hit my door cuz tooo mamai...and i did hit my desk..and starving..i tot its 8 pm..wth la ngan ak ni..i was pace in and out of d room for no reason and only 15 minutes after i realize what the heck m i doin kuar msuk blik goin nowhere..MAMAI...mabox..this is how my sunday end..full of hilarious moment..

ME.SUNDAY & UNCLE FEVER

For the godsake..the eyes of heaven (poyo la nk gne literary lang.)..i mean sun was reli blazin hot,,feel like it torch and torn my umbrella,,heaven sake,,i need ice on my forehead~since ad devil y da meresap inside my soul rse terencat cuz m goin to library on SUNDAY..what does it mean??it solute a statement "aisya da meroyan and sengal" never mind,,lucky melvin give a ride tho or m roasted like a kenny rogers meal..*exclude d sweating hard part

i was doin research for my research method and business management subject..the cruelty of information reli kills me,,imagine i have plenty of journal and i still keep it pending..long way to finish but due is next week,,gila la uni!!next week gonna be the busy one *shall i do attachment on pdf?

my weekend reli feel like 50% weekend,,overdose fun..busy wif gadget,entertainment,new exhibition in town,new vampire novels..dats ol wht i did to fill the empty space that shud be fill by smth (ahhh..plez cut this point out and drop d subject)..nevermind~i get used to it as time goes by (reli..)..

and my uncle is having a bad fever,,cant deny dat i cant stop worrying,,wish he report to me every second how does he feel..is he okay?did he go for doctor?what did d doc said?can he walk?did he ate?were his friends taking care of him?did he do heavy hard stuff?did he go out?hows d temperature?is he doing okay?did he take his medicne yet?did he drink lot of water?did he use cool fever just in case?did he stay in d blanket?is anyone buy him foods?can he get up frm bed?headache?stress on his shoulder?uhmm..i just keep wondering..hope he's doin okay,,but i cant stop till i get d confirmation dat he's really okay *praying hard(plez3 be okay)

GET WELL UNCLE..I MISS U

I'm gonna be O-K-A-Y

i am not gonna pissed..my activity for these boring few days quite awesome,uhm,i tried to relieve my stress..despite having nothing to do and staring at the journal,,swear to god i have piling up assignment,m fedup wif those.this.that thing..i'm okay..i'm okay..i'm okay..i'm really2 okay..-sigh-..impressed by own self esteem..i'm gonna be okay..rub the dirt and get up..telling myself,dats okay..dats okay..dats really okay..

I'm gonna hang on a lil bit more and try to be okay,no mourn no rage..being neutral..no sparks of excitement,just being stronger..frankly speakin,outside my friends ring (tim,mie,leng,ida,cken..my bestie,tika and yuen) i dun trust anyone...i see everyone as a threat to me,they just keep waiting to bring me down..i'm changing slowly..and i need support for dat,i'll wear scarf..i've start wif day and just trying to move on to night..i will..soon..hmm..i'll say,spell no more curse..not none,but reducing it..avoid frm shifting into horrific person everytime i gone mad..i'll be able to control it..i can do this!!!i noe i can..i'll find anything..anything to make me stop being a freak..i noe i cudnt find anyone to listen to my probs..but i have things,,*non human dat always listen i knew it always do..HEARTACHE always a final stage cancer for me..how to make it go away?i have no idea..i'm loosing the idea tho..i dun wanna have any idea..ow's dat!

I'M OKAY..AND WILL BE OKAY..I KNEW IT..I JUST KNEW IT..

party for Irene

Creepy hi!!my proposal to parental court is approved!!!yeay,,m gonna have diz set of vampire academy series..i cant believe dad actually buy my words..he’s kindda outta town now..wicked,I said dat m dying to have diz books and ther will be exhibition and I have member card~gulp…I eventually have card for every bookstores in malaysia tho.lol.(m just being innocent tell d truth n dad buy my word)..i have mid term assessment wif Dr Khairil..mr fang..hehe..he got fang for d god sake me and khad were focusing in claz for d sake of his fang,how cud we be so stupid and even during our 30 min presentation last Wednesday,imagine I haven’t read 110 page scenario planning for Australia and I have to present..of course bluff all the way..changing the crew whatever,,heeee..dala his class kinda menguji keimanan,spooky and yada..yada.. clas pling seram in history!!

Last nite we throw out some party for Irene,happy birthday benny girl!!(m so screwed if she knew I called her wif diz name)..i’d wait for my vampire to text,uhm,gez he’s too busy,never mind,catch him later..but in case,I still waiting..1 am 2 am and 3 the peak..none of d sign my text delivered..dats okay I still love u whatever happen!!dats my stand and I dun care..(kindda miss him now,not kindda but crazy missing him)..i’ll wait..=,l…ther goes Aisya again..lol

M in neutral mood ryte now so,plez dun anyone screwed it..sometimes I just felt dat I deserve being zombies,u don’t feel pain and zombie’s don’t care bout basic needs!!no biggie..gonna have to finish my script since ridzhan will be a new cast..heee..he’s d devil,,n dat Houghton nk skip his part (dun u ever wish!!!)..and stepmother Fatima..m gonna make u look really like a stepmom..i must be insane lately!!!gosh pulld unintended wire in my brain,,fix my heart and glue it well,and strengthen back my crippled vein..wash my brain,delete my hippocampus worst part..jap g ak kne epilepsy!!!!!huwaaa..m homesick!!!

.i'm lost

i dunno whether i shud wear my brain or not..i'm getting dizzy and tired..god i dun wanna noe anything,cuz i dun wanna think about it..i was fuckin okay..not untill somebody text me and tell me thing dat i missed out in a very important story..i dun wanna put it in my mind,the only thing that cross my mind is Jaya Jusco bukit tinggi and bukit raja..dunno why..but i dun wanna think about other stuff really..(mom,take me home please) i almost give up..thers a quote i read dat says "not all people dat wander are lost" but i am lost..i duno wher i am,who i am..shake me please and i just wanna noe the real thing behind all this not twisted story..i'm lost..

Potential Energy...No Pressure for today i HOLD

Can i just skip class today??personally i dun wanna go,my feet freeze hell cold right up to my forehead,m totally dehydrated,,still typing before i off my lappy and m gonna freeze switching on diz creature for a moment..its just last nite effect linger..my chest seem suffocate a bit,i cant write long for diz one,,(inside my tummy growling pain)..m gonna be walking zombie in d daylight,wif my puffy eyes,i put eye-glow several time,cuz its seem to dry and pretty aching..i didnt sleep d entire nite..of coure doing my research method,,submission date is next week but gotta work hard for it if i wanna have fun later..typical plan,,still i dunno wht m i suppose to do wif all these creepy tummy ache..no swallowing pain i swear it does hurt,not as bad as last nite,,m just afraid diz caffeine effect will loose in a moment and m gonna collapse,thanx god if its on bed,make it worst if its at the construction site..gosh,dun ever envisage that ,,

so hoping for no pressure,m a center wher u pushed button 1 for translation whatever,really hopin for no pressure today,my head as heavy as grand canyon i bet,,i hope this caffeine stays a bit longer in my vein and plez potential calcium gate dun let it go,,i noe m gonna screwed dopamine and being a lil bit excited but dats not my real potential energy,once the effect over m doomed..i estimated this thing to linger around 3 hours and hope so it stay a bit more till i reach those bottle and pack of drugs (sounds like a pusher) gotta decide..to stay in class or to walk out and rest my head off..and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LIL WRESTLE PARTNER..NIZAR!!

AisyaL.U.Vampire

Its been awhile,after a few busy day..3 hell day of the week,urghh..ol noe dat,,last nite was an obvious dreadful moment,I was curling up like a ball,I had my gastric badly..no mom around to make me some porridge with soup or any soupy noodles..=,(..m not getting sympathy anyway,hell no cuz..its just no as an answer..well,Thursday always heaven for me cuz no crappy class going on..always a laundry day,but wen I checked my laundry bag it’s not dat much of item in it,so don’t waste 3 buck for 3 piece of fabric..*a new definition of saving money for new novel..speaking about novel itself,I spent my daylight in d dark almost no-light at all..i’ve been reading my NEW VAMPIRE novel,just bought it yesterday,and now 70% of d book was totally done..m really a novel maniac now..u noe,its just too boring tho u have piling up assignment like French alps yet still wen there’s a space in between its boring,u dun xpect ppl to come and have fun wif u like dey dun have stuff to do,cuz I’m different,just different frm them..while ppl busy revising m on my bed sleeping..its just how I study and how I examine myself as different,,there’s a time wen I’m being serious and ppl were really on d mood of having fun,I can catch up lectures wif my eyes closed..weird ain’t it..

I was staying in d room until sunset and I woke up away frm snuggling wif tammy,dbook was on my face..and *forehead kindda suffer of sudden pain..screw me,,I was thinking of continuing my sleep at 8 but I heard footsteps that I believe I shud ignore (its cken and mie)..dey were like chatting bout smth in my room at d other side..untill tim came in and said..god Aisya now I see u turning into vampire..i was like,okay (happy wif d statement )..i wanna be vampire,skipped the eternity part but think of flashing here and there in d supreme speed and u sleep during daylight,I love dat idea of being a night creature..gosh if I cudn’t be one at least let me marry one!!!micheal and shane was toooo gorgeous in diz novel,,tell u what ppl,vampire always d hunk hottie one..*whatever..obsession to vampire is getting worst (bite me..duhhhh)..lol..m looking forward d HOUSE OF NIGHT series..its like 119 buck =,( I overspend money!!! No good no good really..somebody plez gimme vampire books!!m dying to be wif vampire!!sounds like whacko but never mind,I’m now spreading diz viruses to my housie,but den they’re not English novel ppl..hmm too bad just mie infected,next m biting cken..lol *I wanna FANG!!! (facebook is no longer my point of interest) m all about vampire now,me and vampire cannot be separated (aisyaluvampire)

Alaaaaa...

Alaaaaaa….she text me (refers to my classmate),hand me chapter 2 and 3 tommorow..crap,,I haven’t finish chapter 2,never mind it wont take long,I have the stuff,chapter 3 I’m done with it,class suppose to be at 10 and we have diz discussion and great somebody brilliantly put my name on one Malaysia speech session tomorrow at 7.30 pm..crap2..i had too much and I bet I just overindulged in university stuff,,but thanx god I still have time for myself (novel yeay)..i have no idea how m I suppose to handle university thingy in a moment I have credit hours to be collected..DEBATE..i miss them,at least m not outthere to be a speaker but then I miss d fun in d club,listening to Melvin grumbling bout stuff and grisha and we walked together to college and have a gossip session (Hollywood stuff we dun bother unimas stuff)..and everytime it has to be Edward Cullen,and dat lartner fheww..tired day tho not going out,I shall stop reading for a week I gez..i have 17 journals to be clear by Wednesday and dat Dr Khairil assessment..maaaaa…I have plenty of work exactly and I shall start working on it,,maybe diz blog will miss my post for few hours cuz usually I have more than a post in a day,since I have this time constraint thingy I cant help myself,,

Mmmmuah Mr Abg Ehsan~ EXTEND submission date

Mmmmuahh Mr Abg Ehsan!!thanx2,,merci..he extend submission date for research method..i luv u Mr Abg Ehsan!!but yet i still pending in diz thesis dat piling up like a germs in my eye,,if i were to be home now i mite be tucked up on ma bed dreamin bout thing on d aisle and been in hawaii enjoying d explicit moment ever..too bad m swimming in d oceans of papers..honestly,doing things alone without grouping is great!!cuz u dun hav to be USED..anyway..i hav tons of things in my head now,,i dunno wher to channel it..but den keeping it is better then telling someone who's not interested to listen kan2..i was obviously mamai,,gosh i cud not believe ol my oldmate contact me now..i mean sounds not right..in a day like few old mates contact me,,i hav to offend but things is getting weird,,can someone tell me whats going on?m freaking puzzle,blur..i wish i were home!!!tell me whats goin on man!!heee..anyway..goin for a decent lunch..daaa~

Wake Up AND Blogging

Wake up and directly bloggin!!hmm..i dunno anymore,,but what i noe is my assgnment is still berlambak!!!shit~i fell asleep like a troll last nite and great i hevent start any chapter!!!how nk exam ni!!-mara ngan dri sendiri-this time if i xdpt dean i think i shud stop studying and start selling resume to the high bidder(as in married*who cud want her son to marry uneducated girl) so..xley2..i have to do diz..and i have to go to Holland to my tulips garden!!!dats my aim (mcm plek je) whatever...i wanna be invisible today,i dun wanna noe anyone!!and damn plez stop anyone in fb..anyone dat i dunno plez dun text me in fb,i had it enough with things we called BOYS..i had enough already!!this online socialization site is horrendous~i wanna be me..me..and me..phm x???i wanna be me!!aisyathegreat!!i am not vulnerable..i hav claz at 8 but yet still hav time to brag here..by hook or by crook m gonna clean my desk before this midnight or my life is over..(xkot..maybe..ehm..entah)

Right now i'm having a deep confusion and consternation,so jgn kacau me,,i have tooo many stories in my head,and dah!no more plez..which one is real story???dah2..i have to think about my stuff rather than the unnecessary..

I dun wanna MATI CEPAT understand!!

Before the week even starts,i had diz massive load thumped over my head..this.that.those. i havent finish re-editing my script *reli malas nk complain so i juz do,if ak ckp keje ak melambak cm alps n everest bkn diorg pdulik..sungguh la ak benci!!!..and few of ma friends come out to me and ask me to check d grammar for deir assgnment..COME ON!!!!m not english tutor.. : ( ingat second year is my HONEYMOON apeke???m busy okay,i hav no time for rubbish stuff,even wen i walked i didnt glare around,so uhhhhhhhhhhh...y dun bg org lain yg buat,y everything pass kt ak?????--m so sorry bloggie for being a wrath crumpling place--dun complain bley x????dala ak sorang y bwat!!!!!arghhhhh..i hate diz part ryte here~plez jgn menyusahkan otak ak,,because of u guys i hav to take my painkiller!!!ak xnk mati cepat okay!!!i dun wanna be!!!!if its my responsibility i dun mind..cuz i reli hate IRRESPONSIBLE human being,,it doesnt matter in wht condition if u're someone and u hav responsiblities and how tiny dat is be RESPONSIBLE..dun simply forward ur responsibility to others,,dat is so wrong and so barbaric..i always have time for my accountability,,and using others for self PURPOSE is also barbaric in a sense of WHO ARE YOU?WAT RYTE DO U HAV TO MAKE USE OF OTHERS?think about it,feel la guilty of wat u've done~u made alot of ppl suffer by such appaling manner,,m not the type dat make you realize wat u've done..m not d type dat will tell u through certain extent u have done wrong..I WANT U URSELF TO REALIZE WAT HAVE U DONE..I WANT U TO PUT URSEV IN MY SHOE..wen i shut up doesnt mean i dont noe..wen i merge mysev into silence doesnt mean i'm dumb..CUZ to noe and point it out is a tough job description,,i have my reason to sit and watch..this is just me being me,,i noe more than ppl think i do,i reli do, the good the bad and the ugly thing,its just i choose to shut up..i believe wat goes around comes around..i'm not gonna make u pay but someone mighty will.......