AFRAID...

Chanting *think bout smthg else..what something else could be if the thought that we're having ryte now is things that we dun wanna stop..pause..make it slow..Life is just life..who m i to talk about it~(feel like writing a movie script..myte grab some grammy tho)..You wanna walk out but dunno where it leads you..you wanna change but u're afraid of uncertainties..
We really dun realize how awful we treat ourselves in this life,but it just happen..
Once a while u feel like you have ppl at ur back..to many till dey dunno whether which hand do i need to support me..indeed..none..sometimes u just feel guilty but that was really not ur faults..
Sometimes u keep say i'm sorry but that was not ur line~sometimes u just keep waiting because u have faith on it..really a wait..
As if for me m waiting for my great great great vampire. Cuz i believe whats inside not the flaw that he has..Everyone has a flaw,human are not god..so nothing perfect,,sometimes its hard to make people believe and on the waits of a long time..the clocks keep ticking and the time keep moving..i never gonna change my faith on vamppy..i believe what i see inside not the things that builds him outside..cuz even the time stops,m in a moment of drowning into my jobs and stuff..this is the thought that can never be paused..it keeps revolving around the surface of my faith. Its a feeling that will never end..tho i'm afraid..really afraid of uncertainties..what keeps me alive in this thought and feel is...my faith..m not the right person to talk about life,,but i believe in one thing faith is what make u have a strong grip..have faith in anything..dun care how many time being pushed away..dun care how many pages more u shud write..dun care how many day u drown in cries..dun care how many stiches on ur heart..cuz the grip that i have is strong enough to make me thru the rain..n i dun wanna go or let it go..

I wanna KILL!!RIP HEADS!!%$#@

I shall seek for some tape dat can shut my mouth!!!damn!!i just cant!!fuck la!!!!!!!!!!!arghhhhhhhhh..i paid for it tho..my lunch my DECENT lunch..of course not at the usual cafe..
it was raining n my umbrella was stranded in Dewi's car..so..m wet..all wet~~plus with lunch issue!!!this is so over my frenzy stage..trust me..those food were GARBAGE..if u were there on the seat u wont blame me..cuz m not saying this on the ground of being FUSSY..but as a consumer dat being exploit!!!damn~~this is so shit on a way of serving services to people..the food was a trash or they even put trash in it?i dunno..what the fucking hell a WORM do in my plate???????????a souvenier?additional flavor?a bait?for what damn it!
I dont care if people staring but m really in my rage mood..as i take a long sip into my carbonated drink to make me calm down..i dun care the pain on the chest!!swear to god i wont eat there AGAIN ever!!*m taking this seriously really serious..cuz m hell CONCERN bout my food..what suppose to be there and what isnt....a worm wasnt suppose to exist..cuz i DID NOT take any VEGETABLE today..n what the hell and where the hell those things come from..outta apetite already..
I dun have the guts of EATING for the entire day!!!THANX to the garbage creature dat spoil my day..@#%$^....ahhhhhhhhhhh...somebody please gimme a gun..theres A HEAD TO BE SHOT!

How Bored Without Sleeping Pills

Addictive Playlist

Addictive Playlist

1. Today Was A Fairytale- Taylor Swift

2. Morning After Dark- Timbaland ft Soshy&Nelly Furtado

3.We Crawl-Chris Brown

4. So Cold-Chris Brown

5.According To You -Orianthi

6.Forever in My Life-Jojo

7.Keep On Forgetting To Forget-Jojo

8. Two is Better Than One-Boys Like Girls ft Taylor Swift

9.Bad Romance-Lady Gaga

10. You Make Me Smile- Fawn

11. I wanna- The All American Reject

12.No More You-Akon

13.Do You Remember-Jay Sean

14.Waiting-Beyonce

15.Empty Frame-Neyo

It SWEET and i think i wanna EAT my umbrella

Here some story,lol..still sempat lg..wen i was walking to the FIT..hahah..i see a lovebird..soooo sweet..as in sweet lah..m not in a bad motive anyway..just an innocent passer by that accidently see a stuff..of course i was alone,enjoying the blazing hot sun of Malaysia *wishing for a snowflakes in the blazing afternoon..gosh,merely roasted..buy me some bbq sauce then..m ready to be on the grill spot~alright2 dats not the point..where was i just now,,the problem when i have keyboard,pen,pencil or any writing tools..god..i will never cross a definition of "full stop"

Lets go back to d story shall we,damn (talking to mysev)..lo..its kindda sweet seeing those two people (lovebird.or whatever u wanna define it)..the guy was holding d umbrella..and d girl was so secure under his attention..*cant believe m sayng thing..a moment a way to be the love analyzer..maybe dey dun notice me..n wen dey reach the hall..hahahahha..diz girl actually kiss d guy's hand..as in..(xtau nk explain..d things dat u always do to ur mom..salam and kiss)..hahahah..i was sooooo paused there n almost langgar tiang..(those are ppl from my biz class)..hahahahahhahaha...for the god sake i felt like i noe everyone in my university..(i dun wanna bother anyway)..so i leave it walk away to FIT and enjoy my time wif my chocs drinks afterwards..n i dun even remember their face anyway..those were really sweet..but i dun really care anyway..trust me wht cross on my mind on dat moment were..m looking at my umbrella..(not thinking of who shud be holding it..hish..but i do think once..how good if ther is smone who's holding my umbrella for me..but since m in hurry m not really into it)..i was just thinking about ICED CHOCOLATE!!!hahaha..come on! dats not my business so i dun wanna bother..

Moral of the story :dun let me use brown colored umbrella..its all chocolaty~yummy

Thats just me

Whatta day..as i woke up at 4 and continuosly awake~Thursday is always my laundry day..if somebody happen to want to kill me its easy tho..my life structure my norm will never ever change..*put me aside from crime thingy,dats creepy (no one wanna kidnap n kill me or assault me..). It was fun,dumpiong ur clothes in d washing mechine and wait for 30 minutes..(feeling like home)..now i miss my washing mechine at home..lol..

My day was terrifically tiring,i went for meeting and demonstration and document filing..i end up sleeping at 7.45!!!i have interprogramme debate supposedly..n shud be ther at 8..but i was carried away by my sleepy desire..unfortunately i fell asleep and woke up like 6 hour later and i text grisha "hows d debate i just woke up"..i missed 2.0 credit hour~i am sooooooo tired..my limbs aching..my head spin like merry go round diz eve..

Actually i tot i had died because of fatigue,u see m moving everywhere frm here and ther..HEP to college and to faculty of engine and to faculty of technology..damn i dun have time for lunch!i just grab some cheese tart look smth at the cafeteria~*that cud be my fav place ever cuz they dun serve spoiled foods..if people knows me well they'll say i'm weird..cuz I AM WEIRD..

There so much thing that is so difficult to explain,like why i dun lyke mayo and mushrooms..urghh..dats just me

Crawl-Chris Brown

Crawl


Everybody see's it's you
I'm the one that lost the view
Everybody says we're through
I hope you haven't said it too

So where
Do we go from here
With all this fear in our eyes
And where
Can love take us now
We've been so far down
We can still touch the sky


If we crawl
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl
Back to love, Yeah
Back to love, Yeah


Why did I change the pace
Hearts were never meant to race
I always felt the need for space
But now I can't reach your face
So where
Are you standing now
Are you in the crowd of my faults
Love, can you see my hand?
I need one more chance
We can still have it all

playlist
1.Forever in my heart-Jojo
2.Crawl-Chris Brown
3.I wanna-The All American Reject
3.Forgetting to Forget-Jojo
4.Today was a fairytale-Taylor Swift
5.Do You Remember-Jay Sean
6.You Make me Smile-Fawn

WHAT leaves mark in life

::chances is biology.bond is chemistry.flow is physics::
::uncertainty is the poison.confirmation is the cure::
::anger is a wrecker.apologize what makes better::
::hatred is a grieve.love is exhilaration::
::betrayal is hurtful.loyalty repair the stitches inside::

be responsible of what u have said,done,promise...
...walk to the talk
whateve u do in diz world leaves mark
so be careful on ur stuff
its hurts,its good,its bad,its awful,its happiness
sometime u just dont realize it...



nway i miss my nenek,vampire
i miss my mom,dad,nizar
i miss my teddy,turtle,koala,big teddy,ducky,doraemon,pooh,teddy2 *collection of doll
i miss my bed,pillow

Dead Beat

Wowwwwaaaaaaa, I won the election and those ppl who came were the 1st years majority..*still thinking while walking on the stage..m I really gonna do diz..well I just can’t run away..but today is my big day..reli important in my life cuz I tried to be responsible for bigger things..this is not an assignment it’s about fighting for community needs in an institution where there are various demographic thingy…man I reli sound like a business planner (screwed royal-dutch journals). This morning I was called upon to present TWICE..gez I reli caught DR KHAIRIL attention..presenting my alternatives how Malaysian society will be in 5,10 and 15..gosh..my effort wasn’t dat bad..i was in his special list..he is a bit weird in delivering style but never mind I just need to make myself competent and like he always said “CREATE VALUE”..how valuable I am to the world??thats what he always stress kan..n m looking forward for final exam review question..next step is 80% of individual assessment and m complete and done with my stage..whatta complicated class…my work gonna be uploaded in Morpheus and ppl will download it..we’re talking about ur piece gona be a reference..ngeee..but!!!!!!!!!!!!this wasn’t really a jovial day..i dun wanna talk about it..cuz today is the day I see the true color of ppl around me..
Its kindda sad but never mind..just need to write a bit and m gonna be okay..(I guess….)..when comes to friends stuff m not reli in a good mood to talk about it..well forget it!!m kindda starve but m so sleepy..too tired,like got bunch of stuff to do
1.workin out for the business management
2. goin for class w/o sleep
3.being on a tip of iceberg
4.class end at 1 election at 2..m starving
5. give speeches which is anything that cross my mind cuz I didn’t prepared
6.run to hand the letter for KBR
8.go to finance department of uni.
9. do smth to cheque
10. waiting for bus wif khad
11. futsal draw,,cuz teammate cant make it so I have to (like plenty of texts which about d same thing)
Conclusion : Tired+disappointment+zero jovial+no more energy
*m taking my migraine pills to sleep..*_*

NOT READY

Things quite sturdy and busy and barging into smth dat we call tired and I need my BED *scientifically define-lack of mitochondria that gonna generate ur energy system (Dr Aisya, 2010)..i haven’t sleep yet..n its kindda my 10^th hour staring at this lappy after doin my business management thingy..gosh..i lost my brain somewhere in the next 15 years prospect..no..no..no..back to real life.this week had been such a pack week!rarely seen in room..fhew,,dat was awful..class till 9 pm..well today, Wednesday is the day dat I wanna skipp the most..Wednesday is d day that full of everything (spooky class,debate)..but today is my big day..of course I have to bare 3 hours wif my beloved Dr Khairil….*business+market+competitions+small+big=5 sachet nescaffe..thanx ~I do love his class tho..cuz its kindda interactive n u gonna learn lots of stuff..i can tell,,ngaaa..anyway..i have the election for mahasiswa today..which I haven’t prepare anything cuz m too busy wif facilitator training, research method, employee act as well as compensation thingy..and damn I forgot to do my online quiz and I officially lose 1 mark upon 100%..m so pissed but hold my horses cuz there are plenty of workload comin in..cuz last nyte,m revising,do notes,do assign task,read journals,analyzing management stuff,write official letter since m a secretary for my industrial training..ohhh..and printing..this moment only I click on my MOZILLA FIREFOX !!how packed was dat..well..never mind soon it will be more load comin in..n diz Saturday I have futsal match and great I was elected as a LEADER for PANGEA program (socialization,training,facilitate students to participate in networking all over the world..there will be KOREANS,JAPANESE,AUSTRIAN,KENYAS,MALAYSIANS,GERMANY’S,FRENCH..some more kot xigt)..trust me there are more than BUTTERFLIES in my tummy..how to handle those things anyway..aduhai~~..so futsal in the morningand that thing on the afternoon..n m d leader dat gonna start those..wow..so gonna be zombie at night…mitochondria cant generate power anymore..so MORAL support is needed here!!man cant believe m doin all diz stuff..i CAN do diz!!wua =,(..M NOT READY FOR MY SPEECH diz afternoon~~I gez m gonna have diliver my speech in english..my bm kindda worst wen I start saying it..n plus I cant be spontaneous..i need last minute ideas but no one helping..so..i have to do diz..well wrapped everything up..

3 principle of the day

1. Breathe easy, inhale, exhale let it go

2. Energy can be recharge

3. Be a fighter *uuu..lol

Reference

Dr Aisya,(3 February 2010) .Aisya HANDBOOK:How to be motivated at eleventh hour. Somewhere in VENUS.Printed in KBR (no PDF version available). Pp 1-3++

http://www.aisyainsanebrain.com/5789/whatthehellworld.

retrieved 2 February 2010

too tired.

i'm just tired..too tired..cant get rid of this fatigue thing cuz i'm trully tired..dun wanna go to class..shall i?lol..b4 miss farida kill me..better i finish my tutorial..

Get off from my early morning sights

Damn!why it is so hard to bash ppl up if dey weren't in debate..for the god sake i cant stand seeing dat morron walking around like nothing ever happen..as if..i'm so kindhearted..she's too blind too see how much i hate her..what a creepy genetics that made her up..i wish i have these radioactive like one in group 1 lithium or anything that can blow her..i locked my door and m not gonna lend her any of my stuff..
How fucking stupid was dat wen i said.."u can learn alot if u use dictionary and try very hard for ur own stuff" dat is so not gonna work..
i shud have said "are u blind cant u see m fed up helping ppl who did not want to help theselves..what???u came to university so dat ppl will do ur stuff???" what m i?electronic dictionary that have on and off button..and type MORON and there goes the meaning -ppl who is so dumb witted and have this damage in brain so cant think like human being dat have feeling-
I'm gonna do diz which is..screwed her luxury and make her use her own brain..and watch where she goin, cuz she is so fucking over the limit..i dun wanna fyte cuz really..after 20 years i be able to control it..great!!i cant remove dat fan thingy on my fb..damn!the link stuck..i dun wanna have any connection wif ur faculty thingy..cuz i hate ur faculty!!!its full of budak2 keledek!!! idiot!gosh!!!xkn upload pic kat mail pn xtau!!!!!!!!!!!!nmpak sgt ske suruh org!!!!!!!!i forbid her to enter my room,touch my stuff,dun simply take away my iron and returned it 4 days later..n i have to borrow ppl's one..I HATE BORROWING..reli hate that..n especially when i have the stuff but ppl dun returned it..dun ever dream i will lend u my esprit umbrella..u break my boundaries i play cruel..i dun care if u wanna die in the rain~like u even think before waking me up if u want me to do stuff..
Get off from my life moron!I HATE to see ur face..