Lumpish Thesis. (I'm roaring)

This is the last 2 week before FYP presentation,erghhh (alright alright chill chill). Therz nothing much more galvanic than sel-motivation. Eversince i had 5 more times to meet my supervisor,seriously nervous! I got a pending pilot test because my instrument is not ready yet..gosh who i might seek help to translate it into Malay???Anyone outhere??help~My academic language is supremely at d bottom level.(why do we need dwi-bahasa) I need a year to do this stupid thesis. Come on people, its not an easy thing, like 3 chapters for 1 sem and thers plenty of parasites hanging on ur neck. I got last minute mid term,which make things even more worst !!!This is a stupid eleventh hour life of mine. I'm not dat persevering freak. (god bless me). I even had my weekend stranded in a ice-cold building called CAIS, (i shud hav build a tent & and light up sum fire)..I'm totally worn out by d end of diz September. I happened to miss basketball immediately too but sorry i dun have time to hang around in court throwing ball while people are all busy staring on 12 inch lappy. (I'm not excluded!) Can't wait for this thng to be OVER..and i submit it, present it & crap the hell I want. Gotta go to claz 1st ! daaaaa~

Getting Ahead

Her eyes her eyes..I love the song btw..
Hey ther, say welcome back to me, =D but i'm not regular anymore. Well its kindda odd wen u stop writing, d moment u start typing an alphabet i need a moment to digest, whats next :) so hello again! After turning 21 few month ago I felt like nothing much change,I still having horrific atittude which is english communication breakdown. Seriously, i can't control my english. Well d last ramadhan was awesome & of course Eid's day. Not much cuz i miss my grandma damn much. Crying a river on Raya night. Jeez what an attitude. (suddenly i got crouching tummy). Anyway,leave dat aside,i got back frm my short break, guess what!how great i have FYP awaits me :( this is d bad part..i dun wanna stay here anymore!*pretending childish. ;) thanks god i juz finish my chapter 1 and chapter 3. Knowing dat chapter 2 will be needing me being an asshole (in term of muttering) haha..too bad i have a few more journals for my literature review. How nuisance is dat, FYP is my ticket to graduate..please2 let me grad on time..so far no probs,so fhew..not relieved enav cuz i got about plenty of stuff killing around me. Gotta settle up and leave schools. :) can't wait to get the scrolls and get mysev out. Lately i got too much problems. Espcially misunderstanding wiv some friends. Now i'm just gonna shut up and let people talk,i dun mind anymore. I'm resistant to pressure..(am i??). And for those who mock me talking english, thanks alot~ No one ever ask u to mingle wiv me and I don't want ever..so lets get this straight, mind your own business,okay buddy..so thats it for today..:)

This is my last post

Passion, caprice, glee and enthusiasm of writing occupy special peculiar space in my tiny heart. Have you ever feel like moving your fingers when you have a funny, blue and wrath rolling over every ounce of your cells? How do I define writing? Was it just lines of word, arranged and there it is? My dictionary says, writing is about telling story, whether it hurts and you make it gay or vice versa. It’s something that has everything. Once the smooth ink sinks on the paper it is going to be something. It gives life to the souls, it lighten the nearly ending life. Writing is always special, I learn life from writing. Three things I learn from this life are faith, love and trust. How can goofy ugly words make me learn? I bet this is what they say. Watch me, lesson number one, before you even doodle on the paper, learn to watch. Use the right anatomy because you might mix-up dynamic emotions on your fingers. When your eyes capture things, mental envisages it and channels feeling to your fingers. Everytime I watch things, I learn to derive vocabs from it. Every word written meant a lot to me, every single of it brings about different story about me. This leads to lesson number two, learn to say things obliquely. Writers are always full of story, so we learn to twist things, so that it will be unfathomable and deep. This is what I like the most about writing. Sometimes the answers were there, but people did not get it straight. Sad, we are people who hide feelings under the beautiful lines because we could not afford being discovered. We are secret keepers. Writing make me be who I am because words treat me equal. Word I wrote never bit me. Things I wrote always warm in my heart because I wrote things I like. I said crag fast things that I wish I could pronounce loud. Everything I did in my own way which heads to lesson number three, speaks heart language. We are the most true when we write. We write from heart and we mean it. It goes to every little thing that happens to be passed by the bosom. What sparks your life that goes straight to your souls, I assume precious. For us, it’s never matter if people don’t know how we feel, because we have writing that brings about vitality. Pen and papers is always our best friend and we cannot afford people letting us down so many time. We cannot afford merely bad heartbreak. We are vulnerable inside, but on papers we are stronger than we always do. Where all the courage lies within, that’s what we called “the best thing of my life”. We compose those pretty words and we shall never quit.But i have to quit..everything goes around is not fer everyone anymore.

Its wrong to love

Hey,haha..hmm maybe its really a crime falling in love with someone. Perhaps,it is so wrong to wait for them and even miss them. Sometimes its just thousand words with blur pictures around,i just can't figure it out the shape coming in. Humans are so blind,or its just a human?(which is me)counting days,wishful nights..was it futile or its really unnecessary..something really goin on in here,sometime we get used to it and try to let it go. God really create some ppl with stones and diamonds,the harder u try to break it off,u're the one who gets bleed,the diamond will never scratched a bit. But is it really wrong to love someone?i've been pouring myself with questions,i nvr get the answers..you teach me things you preach everything..maybe its really wrong to love someone..its a sigh,i noe i had try my best..to be the best,but i'm sorry i'm just a spoiler in everything......

Amnesia and Deja Vu

Its a sob sob day,well nvm it over,totally over..i've cruised my days..hmm,its just so damn pathetic!i dunno whats going on with my head..somebody please shake me,push me frm 3rd floor,m i insane or m i just having no thing to do..like real no-thing things..haha,,see its my insanity night,i dun have my painkiller wimme probably dats y m acting weird as in odd in a sense of normal homo sapien who breath using oxygen and eats mother earth stuff~jeez..ahhhh please i have no idea what is wrong wimme,i have identity confusion ke ape ni?damn~i can't figure it out myself..this is the worst thing!when i dunno what is wrong with what is wrong..hummmphh..its an insanity with necessary words following..like a lunatic night!i dunno whats wrong because there is nothing wrong..hows that its just so wrong to know when there is a wrong thing on being nothing wrong..gosh..please!!i have gone far frm my sense..help~help~i have amnesia and deja vu at the same time!!!

Gonna Be Real Sick

How to say that 8 letters without voice,how to say those 8 letters and try to convince that i really mean it..Okay forget it,i still dun have the courage to say those to evil great grandpa alzheimer!btw,nothing much today,unless i have third floor room again for next sem,jeez..it was..uhm..tiring a bit. I hope there are spaces that still vacant cuz i wanna move!its going to cost me extra ATP for goin up in such height. Well in the other hand,I'm having confusion today!God show me,god show me..i'm really tired and sleepy,i think m gonna be sick..real sick!seriously gimme a break before new semester. I need to cope. Well,you noe..never mind,i'll talk more in journal..bye virtual world,i'm off to bed early

Yesterday:Awesome

I wish..i wish...the pre-birthday wish!hahaha..i'd like to scream,lots of laffff to my girls,deb,dew2,khad,pink and rene!You guys realy naughty tho,okay!but yesterday was d best day ever,i dun feel like goin away frm the Monday~well,these girls lied to me,there'll be a small farewell party (for intersession)!!but they make a surprise pre-birthday party fer me!!hahaha,i was clueless on d first place,you see i have this motion blurness,so it took 5 minutes to figure it out. I love the cheese cake~thanks girls,i really love cheese cake super damn much and even it was my fav cheese cake!blueberry!(hugs & kisses). I was having a wholesome meal last night,i have lime juice and grilled chicken chop plus super melt in d mouth cheese cake!!i was laughing non stop,and yes ppl were staring at us,i really like the restaurant so much,like super much. (my second choice other than sharing planet). Well,we're havin lil fun fer football,can't believe i was staying on dat table (wiv my hot lemon tea and fries) watching Brazil kicking ass (chile)..lol,it was hilarious when irene starts biting and chewing non stop because she dun wanna scream before d crowd.Yesterday was awesome and i miss atok who called me nenek!super much please please..imy

The Song::I waited because i

First of all,its not really a good song,i figure it out the first verse,well i'm runnin outta decipher and really whats appening to me?i keep on doing this writing,nvm..so here we go

I peep on the clock,half past 12 now

Midnight breeze frm the cracked window

So cold...

Spinning head,heaven blithe me

I lost my sense now

This heart is insatiable

When I keep on

(chorus)

I'd be right here before after dark

Pretend enough,i've gone too far

There's a time i walked,

To the scattered mirror

I couldn't say,it cragfast in my throat

I waited because...

I'd be right here thinking you'll be home

Every ounce of my feels

Articulates my souls

I laid on the floor cruising pain

No remedy I know

I waited for you because

I love you

24 hours done

The hall still empty

I'm fingering this song

I painted my grief

Cause you don't know

Yes you don't know

(*cho)

#this hands won't stop,

could'nt reach the end

tel him tell him

that i...

(*cho)

written,originals owned by

Aisya

Rhodensia Blindness Is You

I was just watchin a ridiculous tv show!that goldfish is actually goin for finals~that was euww,i dun like her for some reason,grrr.anyway..stop this delusional idiocy,anyway ever heard of king of anything song?i went browsing on you tube this morning of course my AOL radio blog help alot,i have a list already,no sweats,there's plenty of cool song will be released on july..ahhh,talking about july it does remind me of my ascending age,urgh!wait,does it mean i have to make up something (oh yeah i remember makin some critical credential with my clans) oh crap i'm gona have to book a wholesome treats for my gang. *pushing calculator instantly. Not bad i guess. I'm gonna continue writing poems,since i was trying hard to indulge in shakesphere underling thingy. It quite offensive wen i heard few lines talking about a futile attempt to be a writer. Know what people you're to lumpish to think as much as a rhodensia blindness. My words is mine, its my passion. If you're on my side,support me. I had enough disaster in life for the past 13 month. I dun wanna rewind this film without sound cuz i'll end up blabbering the unnnecessary. I just hope that thingswill always get better. So song writing is my new hobby,of course,sides of fb-ing. Frankly i have reasons why i online untill 4 am in d morning and will to stretched my eyes..there are reasons. I have unfathomable life and i dun wanna make it even more fatal. This week maybe the last version of me talking garbage. I'm gonna turn 21 soon..ahhh i hate this,i hate this. Age determination always kill me. How to be wise,i'll figure it out soon. Reminder to some ppl outthere,its not wrong to be nice but dont fake it. It look sucks and plastic and...shallow. Go away fer good,find another person to play fakers. Not me please,i dun have time for your shallow idiocy.

I waited because i...

I'm gladly saying that i have a new song,which just been written yesterday,ahhh smtimes i feel like m a total writer,i got nothing to declare than writing. Really a bunch of passion stuck in my limb i supposed. Come on!i have to be a CEO!nothing ther than perspective purpose. Well,sure enough get ample time to write a book wen i get a chair on the top. Gowsh!hmm..i waited because i..thats the title,its really connected to me.This song has smth to do with my reality. I hope the lyrics wasn't suffocates the reader,btw,i just find a melody for the forst verse. Its kindda hard to mend the streotype songs.So i need to trim the best!hmmm,okay more about this song is about a wait of course *pffft..how when we think we need to have smth that we perceive valueble in life,we will have the will to wait. I can tell its alost a hanging love story.Yeah,how a guy don't really realize how a girl loves him so damn bad. Untill she forget her seconds for herself. She hold her feelings and keep on waiting. She wait for things to change.She hope that she can get back to the start. Of course on d way she scrathed and bleed. Since her love is so strong she think she could handle bleeding. So,she thinks its okay if he didn't noe that she love him. She waited because she love him.Thats all...hmmm

Toy Story,Foods I'm Happy

Sometimes we never realize god create us for reason,instead we go around and whining how unlucky and how not fair world had treat you. I had a very good day,starts with great presentation,never stuttering and indeed i was explaining wif flying colors (lol),its naturally came to me when i start to open my lips (how unbelievable how i crap),we went for lunch,my tummy growling like a hungry wolf,so we stopped at kenny rogers,we went for movies afterwards,hahah,,damn hilarious,i was laughing riant!it was a great movie : ) toy story,andy is actually grown up and goin to college,it was so epic toward the end. The hysterical funny thing is barbie and ken!hahah,they were like eeuuuw but comical!!(who even came out wif stupid idea saying i love you differently) seriously!!and "do not press the button not more than 5 second" hahaha,buzz turn into spanish mood,again i was laughing like therez no one else in the hall!hahaha,seriously man,i love this movie like forever and ever,i watch this since i was a kid..even remember the evil dr pork chop!hahah,can't belive the andy boy is growin up just like us,this movie bring out my memory lane,damn!its hilarious..the movie end really fast,one of my friend came out wif idea of buying groceries,so there we go,like all grown up girls :),we went to buy donashi(sushi donuts..foods are getting weird)..as usual we all hav a bad decision making,so deciding about one hour duration,finally!!!sharing planet!!yeay..my fav spot..i love tht place!!again my supreme de vollail,seriously damn good,i love foods..i have macaroni cheese for lunch and a muffin..and great dinner..i love today,,then i went back and so "kepak"-tired,,lol..i waited for uncle in ym,skype and fon..so here i am now..sleepless at the end..but over evrythg i'm happy!

Our Vacation June Tribute

Dewi,Me,Pink and Irene,it was a great place,bountiful and peaceful,i clearly remember the smells and wind,i love beach so much!

Digi Live Tour Concert,which have a bitter middle story,see that girl wif blue sleeveless shirt,i hate her..lol,but that was really fun and awesome night!

We're with our timer again,this time around i manage to pose better,lol,ppl came to jogs but we came for pics..but it was really great eve,