Saturday, October 27, 2012


Earth is just another painful place I would rather burry myself and die. I just could not understand why things goes that way. First of all relatives are suppose to be the safest place we could run to. Happen to be some people just being mean and hateful. Every single minute that I have eating my brain out. Trust me sometimes I give up giving chances to people outthere because they never deserve it. I have life to live and i have my own hardship that I expect ppl to understand live with it and not putting us at the bottom.

What happen tonight just a shallow hatred and i decided what comes next will be me and always me. Why do i need to trust them my relatives. They just a bunch of grown ups who doesnt know how to make ppl live their life easy. They always wanna put smth bad in return of our happiness. Such a shallow circle i have. I wud rather bring my family and my youngest aunt to live in states living those crappy ass here rotten in Malaysia. Trust me i need a moment of chucky. Too bad chucky died. I'd kill for a person to talk to me but i only open up to one person and he died a 2 years ago!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Swithching Blog

Hola ! Happy Eid Mubarak everyone :) just wanna tell ya i have new blog that i just started posting some stuff here it is ;) love xx

Friday, August 3, 2012


Happy blessed Ramadhan to all muslims and of course others who enjoy the month (random). I must admit I haven't been here for quite sometimes. I know there's a lot of things to catch up though the audience are most probably someone anonymous tht might come across my blog first time. Since  I left university I think I loose the part of me that love to crap all along. Of course, my time was officially taken by my working life and hence nothing much i could brag accept for one two stuff and eventually after 24 hours I'm too tired to brought up any argument (being on bed is the best choice). Now, my life is pretty much on I have job and weekend is precious :)

Actually I just moved to a new job and this is totally new to me. So I'm now in transition from a HR spec to Conference Producer..Overall the job is okay and I'm kindda happy with it (hoping to claim commission). Anyway, this year I found out I have less drama than few years back I hope that's not a sign of complete adulthood. For some reason I just hate the term "adulthood" its like a nightmare. Nobody wants to grow up when they already half way to enter early adulthood. Screw the little me who wish to grow up fast 20 years ago..(lol) Afterall things turn up nicely and today I'm gonna do a little bit of shopping :)

Alright then, till we meet again :)

Saturday, June 30, 2012

I'm just human and everyone knows that

Welcome to hell, pls check how many days you need to spend here. Oh yeah 365 times forever. Thanks enjoy being baked crisp! Big issues? Big stuff? Yeah got problem with me or you would like to join this honorable life with me? I never asked this life anyway and i dont have right to complain too actually. Well things wont always turn up right screw horoscope cuz its a lie. Nothing can take over god destiny. Things change, pattern change. I changed frm somebody who stray from love, get to know them and hate them. I changed from a person who dont know right to care, being someone who care to someone ignorant. I tremendously changed from someone who knows when stress come there's always a good way to get rid of it, into someone who rather run away frm problems and twist it to unhealthy way. This is Life, to be precise my Life! Not all stuff in your head can be shared. I dont really like to brag bout my personal problem either cuz right now i only value fun in life! I know being a girl, a daughter, a friend, a foe and a lover at the same time is typically HARD. Unless you know what heaven had  planned for you. No one..nobody in this world should play god. Only my Almighty can do such impossible to me but not an ordinary human being. Now, i mean right now itself I started to have sense of disbelieve on things called love. If married ppl can get divorced whats the meaning of love? Whats the point of having a bf, a fiance and a wedding just to get divorced in the end. Love is such a waste perhaps if that what it taught me. Don't blame me if my memory held me to move on..because you just reminded me to it. If its just the same thing i consider it a waste and im not sorry to push you out. Im just human and everyone knows that..

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Just a school of thought

Salut! Great wishes from the owner of this parcel. Anyway, knowing that im on a bullet train instead of ktm so time flies really fast that I dont even know im getting a +1 for my age. (envisage grey hairs and all the aunties behavior) well being 23 i know age is just number but we dont live forever :) Well this month im pretty much in a transition. Moving to a new job is not easy because we have to start all over again to know each other. For me just pace forward and see what god has planned for you. I know its kinda weird for me being nice in this blog. As for today my mitochondria is running low. Basically im having a low atp in this body (pointing at myself). Things doesnt seem to change but i think i changed. Still no worry im still that insensitive person when you poke me. I hate to be poked for nothing. This will lead to topic of the day ( all atp suddenly clogged in brain) "what makes it different" well what make u me we us different? No this time is not about us. Its about how u manage expectation when u noe u need to avoid "what makes a difference". Frustrating of course..everyone shud at least have system to manage other. Speaking about system i nvr (of course) meant mechines. I try my best not to make things rather archaic than normal. My case today evolves around " system creation". This cud be a lil bit tedious but i tell u because someone in this world dont have his own system i'm suffering from a bad romance hangover. Oh cmon like seriously how do u make ursev contactable if u off the country for quite sometimes or atleast alternatives??????this will eventually make me feel, what makes it different if my past offer me the same thing. Its just a horrible experience that i dun wish to live with. Because the past have the worst system and hence im not wishing present offer me the same. I might as well just go back to the old genre of me. Wasted, mostly time drained, neve a convincing life. So create your system and dont let others sacrifice the least thing that she ever wanna live with. Be something by offering something different. Chao

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Hail the prayers, I wont change my mind

Sorry but this is really a right time to throw veng. in here. Was it me or work had been pretty annoying and pissing you off more than ever. I don't wanna be frank cuz its the truth that some ppl have to swallow (i'll make them swallow hard). I do not know since when im being an ass that very particular about things. I hate perfectionist seriously and I do not wanna be one. Its very much stupid to be anxious bout something simple and there's a damn solution if you could just sit for 2 minutes and chill!
Today, i was suppose to manage the stuff for some training thingy and what make me really pissed until my heart rate become unconditionally handicap and i think my brain work faster with the dirty vocabs. I can never be mad unless its really the things that made me so out of my head. The cupcakes were totally ruined and its impossible to be given away to any human being. Like a cat food i see. Not to be arrogant but really I fucking hate when things does not go on my way.
Things bout me, I love to bottle up my anger and I really dont wanna blow eventhough i'll say things that make sense. With current emotional imbalance and the urge of splitting myself into 10 I promise some will regret it. Hail the prayer but I wont change my mind!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Part ii : Disgusting Relationship

Let me just clarify, the disgusting relationship will always be one:

This is not a time to tell stories, this just bitter past that I dont think I wanna live with (so why the hell i'm writing about it). I want this virtual world to imagine what is it like wasted university time falling in love with someone who actually set up by a friend.

Frankly, I will tell you I'm not smart because I've already figure it out once upon a time and never blow out. I was being so freaking kind all the time. When he go I let him, when my friend showing signs of a backstabber (yeah of course I brag in my entire 2010 post). What the hell did I owe her? What the hell he owe me? no answer cuz they doing it for fun. For the god sake what the hell of 3 years relationship.

I was right not to put her in my clan list, I know her limit. This is just too  much for a history. I had 2 sucks semester I tell you because of the stupid drama. He's a drama queen and I'm a bullied guy. Lucky I have another 4 semester to cover up the whole mess. Still, I think my brain functioning like a bunch of slugs.

Well, I am never gonna forgive them until they seek forgiveness from me. Screw you !! I hope you're reading and I will gladly put nasty words here for both of you. Seriously, I'm not joking. I'm not kind when you make me one. Please to meet the bad me because this one you poke me really bad. I've been bruised for no reason, being punished for nothing, being stab for nonsense.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Disgusting Relationship

Knowing that time never permit me to write that much anymore so I try to race them so I can type something. Quick question how many of ya'll loves "Oppss I did it again" ?? The thing is not I but you did it again. Frankly, I dont really like to express lumpish things in my blog anymore. I kindda feel distorted and look disturbed if I were to write crappy things here. However, I think let's just give myself a green light today. After a year keeping my life stationary, put a blind eye on everything. There it goes again...Lets just give me a full day of resentment where I can throw my tantrum to the respective person. I hate to be cheated over and over again with the same person that I've known for 4 years. C'mon like gimme a break...The ugly truth is always tormenting.
Afterall it wasn't about that filthy person but its such a shame that you're actually fooled by your own friend for the longest time sake. I couldn't believe that she's pretending nice to me for all these year and this is what I've got. How can you see another human being been tortured half of her life because of some love experiment. I feel disgusted over myself for falling in love with stupid boy (i was stupid too) and trust my friend on her hideous plan..For the first time of my life i feel like telling the world her true color but imma gonna sit back watch her game. One big fat question, "why would you prank people"? just because your love story sucks doesnt mean you have right to kill some other souls. Love is something that you can't simply jump in like hit and involves emotional engagement. Poor thing she might be too lumpish to have those thoughts. I was right to doubt her from the start.
Its funny when I read all her timeline preaching something nice and be so close to religion line. Seriously, it makes me throw out. Bloody hell, are you retarded? Yes I love to throw my tantrum in my blog, but at least I don't do stupid experiments for years and prank around. You are filthy disgusting! I donnoe if I ever forgive such a thing. To that boy, you can straight go to the hell and I hope you"ll die burnt inside there! Once is not enough for you though you fake people. Sick people who don't enjoy life or I cud say don't even have lives. I regret knowing you and never in my life there will be a best of luck for you....

Sunday, January 1, 2012

hi world of digital, its new year and im so psyched and i just realized that blogging by phone restrict me for some numbers and symbols. it sucks...i shud be having exclamation marks here..alright not much i can say but this break that i have for five days gonna be a real awesome cuz m gonna put aside all the bloody things that affect my life. so rise and shine..its cool sunday..