Saturday, January 10, 2009

Consider the stupidity level..

I just hate…Hate…Hate and hate living in the world of girl that full of disaster. Why should girl have such feeling? Why on earth we girl have such HEART? I had it enough with everything already. I just want every single memory, dream, hope yet past or even name that scratched in my brain erased away. Wash away by my wave of anger. Those damn feeling caused me trouble so much. It takes away my concentration, my pride AND for the biggest is my TIME!!!!After calculating for some time I realize that love can’t last forever…firstly I fall in love with the wrong guy and he is now with my best friend. To me…the gate and the door are open but inside the decoration were not mined. It has changed and I just a stranger inside that house. That moment really break me into pieces that can never be glued again ever. How shame was that when you being a stranger in your own house that you build? All of sudden I felt all the wall had ripped open the roof gone and behind my house there’s another with beautifully made without my knowing. The gate was closed really tight. Feel it was just a dream that I wake up for. So paralyzed and too much to speak. I lost my words behind all consternation. Just thinking of crying because from their windows I can see happiness that tore my heart. Really bad as I fell down on the stormy ground yet my body can’t be lifted from where I stand. I don’t know where to walk but my anger just cannot burst out to them. Really CAN’T!!!Instead I tried so hard to send those trashes feeling down and deep. The fact is they don’t even care how much it hurt and no hands that hold me from getting away from my feeling. Alone in my pain going into world of my creation. That’s why I wonder why girl can be that deceived I had been strong enough to be in such state where I fake laughs, I fake every joke and I fake my sincere smile to fake my happy heart. Then I spent my hard time in shower crying silently with the pertinacious sound of waters that flows and let my tears drown away by the waters. My mouth keep saying that I ain’t love him anymore each days but deep inside it cursed every words of hating him. The feel was so strong for him that avoids me from vanishing him away from my life. Those freak word that sound egomaniac of me was so fake. Nobody ever knows everytime I being a DAMN FREAK ARROGANT I was so hurt. Sometime I just wasted my time thinking why my best friend could ever do that to me. What FRIENDSHIP is exactly? A friend? Perhaps it’s something that full of betrayal and scandal. That is the first time I have such description on friendship. Believe me how much I trust people now there’s no way it is eternally. I can laugh at the back when people speak out loud on friendship…it such a barbaric speech. Imagine you came over to a person and tell them how much your problem is but they laugh at the back. Also telling how much you had been broken and they just said stuff that can’t be considered as appropriate word for such thing. The most… most …most …most unbelievable and worst ever is telling him /her about your boy/ girlfriend that actually their boy/girlfriend too (scandal). I just realize how pathetic my life had been all this time long so full of betrayal that I STUPIDLYi mean it!!!!! Do not notice. This is the cased of being stabbed internally by your own trusted friend. Again I really really hate being a girl that have such silly feeling where you wake up and dream of a knight on white horse. That is obviously the most idiot thing of what girl can do. Why do we have such weak heart…thus easily melted that when the moment a gorgeous guy asked you out you starts to think that he fall in lovewith you while actually you are too much gay and ecstasy in such field. This occasionally led you to the starts of a new era of disaster. What am I trying so freaking hard to say is when is the girl gonna stop their contaminated feeling with love…the most is FAKE LOVE the creation of the boys that come out with idea of making toys of those girls. The damn thing that happened is that innocent girl just giving out the permit for them. Thus girls are a moment away of the doom and the boys a moment away of the bloom. So sick listening to boys nagging for love. Come on!! those ways are way way to out of date…the creep primitive way to win the girls heart. Not necessary to create such conditions where they have some sort of selling love like a salesman. Believe me love isn’t a toy. You will never know what it is forever it came in silence. Besides girl should stop their complicated thinking because it burn apart of the rationale brain that work for them. Really poor to those bunches of neural that crumple in idiot circumstances. Just like no way out. Girls are so stupid thinking that a smile can change the whole world. Who says that? Kennedy? Lincoln? Einstein? Even the milk maiden know how is it to think like a human. What’s with those creamy dreamy words? A good girl knows so much how to treat herself as a girl. But then why when girl stars to make decision she will definitely pulling back or even make herself with another alternative choice that turns out to be guys victory..I really hate the way girl make decision. When they decide to left him she just can’t get over it…Why should she misses him even more even though it’s already over. Why can’t she just throw away her stupid feeling then she make herself clear that is doomed…Nothing can be done about it and it was so over…and why she need to cry in the shower silently for hours just because he hurt her..Is that guy meaning so much to her that she can’t live without him…she may die…No way, as long you can breathe in this world please do something useful and rationale for your own sake.

Don’t girl feel awful whenever they get hurts and sleeping with nightmare that guys are really much I hate being agirl. First thing is bcause I don’t like the way girls thinking and its lame and dork. They put brain in their legs. That’s why they so stupid. Tend to lie just because they afraid being left by the guy… trust me…BOYS….isn’t anything, girl can live without boys but boys can’t live without girl and its really true..

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