Bitter Monday I Had

Life is the piece of thing we live on..bittersweet,everything revolves like asteroids circling d orbit~hmmm..we are what we are,wen really d moon crashing mars..ther's really a big deal about it,but if we were to have to face d fierce dragon in diz life juz bare cuz we are apart of it..as i promised to myself no cursing,finally did it!not because somebody told me to but because i discovered it myself how it offense human living (crap hurt words) sometimes we juz dun realize dat we're giving to much till ppl around us took for granted,and sometimes u juz hope things u wish become true, the fact that it will never always make u carried away wif dreams wif no horizon..or i'm not sure whether d vertical exist..wen u're working really hard to gain trust, really hard not to make a tears drop,its juz a vague things we live on..leads to confusions n make u suffer of creepy hallucination..sometimes u beg time,mentally to make it stop..if we cud ever paused pain and hurt,i juz noe i get a life for free and shall not complaining,,cuz d me of d past is not the me now~life is a mean film without sound~cuz i juz wanna say a few lines
Good job if u were to make me hurts, u made it!thumbs up,it does hurts sooo much
If u wanna make me cry, congratz!!cuz i have more tears dripping down now
proudly saying that i was being abandoned badly and hurts like tons of time without complaining a word~diz story never taught me anything rather than tears for a something nothing,,i wish it was real, d love and everything,but i get it now~~i was juz no one..not even someone,,shame d life i live on, shame to d pride i had, congratz for being a good lady liberty statue~i was charming wen i was a muppet puppet..shall complain no more, cuz i think i get it now,ppl love to took for granted,,never mind the past i hav tommorow to live with..hmmm -sigh- what a day..MONDAY,5TH APRIL 2010

Re-cast d drama+I MISS HIM

whatta curse-able drama~i shuffle d play, i went frm a very polite girl into sarcastic devil~replacing beb and we're having re-cast,,lucky my fever is in so and so mood(quoted frm grissie hugs and tears) yeah d only girl who cares.. :)..okay back to d drama thingy,uhm i played quite good d devil part (duhhhh who's writing script anyway) and replacing alan is khad..naimah will be playing my former character~rebecca gun..wuuu,lets see how she do it,,the best part is ABU!!!previously played by hanafi~with his fame line "indeed my fault mdm"..lol and jordan will be played by mr alex~he juz got the lines diz morning wen i text him to replace my gedik haughton eddie..stepmom maintain---fatimah..ngee..i noe we can do better w/o relying on d script on hands,we can!tho my health condition wasn't that good but im gonna give a best shot!--ther goes d spirit of flu girl--tonyte goin out for pinky's birthday,,but i shall see my state 1st,if sudenly fever went lunatic i can't join..besides,these pretty classmates of employment law had sacked my monday nite with compiling d assignment..hmmm..i think i need to see d doctor tho~i dun wanna stuck on bed while everyone out for fun or even worst final exam!!!!!i need to study and gosh no mind maps at all~this sem really sucks,more than last sem..and clearly last sem was my faults for being such idiots playing tic tac toe to my own life..diz sem is busy enough to make me slept like 2 hours per day unless wen m sick!!!m loosing BLOOD AGAIN!!!dats d point~what the hell is wrong wif this body???????i dunno~btw, i really2 appreciate if dat someone text me since his fon went gle after fell frm 1st floor wen he ran to get his assignment submitted on d dot..i want him to noe how much i miss him like crazy!--i noe he dun even bother--i dun mind if he left d text anywhere possible..cuz m dying of diz frenzy miss thing!! trust me ryte now my eyes got this bloody painful moment n it keeps draining sum salty liquid which we called TEARS..

Me and My Heart We Got Issue

Special recognition to my mirror brain for being such understanding on non verbal emotional connection, i was barely asleep for the past 3 hours and keep on coughing n of course my flu killing me like a cancer~will be focusing on final soon and diz fever,hmmm..sorry to say books u're at rank 2 in my abandon list..i was trying very hard to omit d blot out part today which apparently become more perplexing..jeez, i hate staying on d ground where i hav absurd options and bolshy complex..m really working out to get rid of my subnormality on certain issue..not wanting to mention what the issues are, (are --sounds lots to me)..
However thanx alot to hot lime tea that save my ass,i was enjoying 2 hours of little sinus,now m feeling a bit better than yesterday, i hav to leave debate which happn to hav amusing motion!but still i feel like taking off my shirts..opsss..nope,my nose..lol..yesterday was pinky's birthday as well, m havin hard time diggin for her phone number which happen to be lost somewhere in my phonebook,,and ryte now if someone i waited text me, it will be appreciated..keep on waiting..i love u..i miss u more than u noe..this feeling kills me!

Benci my NOSE

Row..row..row ya boat~damn diz flu..terase mucus nk drain out like a firemen hose..heee..in fever somemore--mmg ak seorg y degil!!d fact is,m tooo lazy to layan diz idiot sickness!!but it does ake me shaken a bit..malas taw x!!!i hate u nose~(tp kalo xde nose,oxygen xley msuk!!)..head~plez digest things on its charts,,m not gonna make it to stand till 12 tonyte,,-sigh-my nose..my nose..huaaaaa :( totally absurd..and i dun wanna go to d clinic!it makes me sicker..more lunatic,my body system got paranormal activity inside it, n of course,,dun wanna timbang berat~~m gonna make diz flu as a ventilation topic..haih..wats goin on with me i dunno~xsmpai 2 weeks hilang blood again!want my blood?take it..nah!take it!m sick being sick..i dun care i wake up tmrow and collapse..i dun care anymore..i dun care if i have to stay in hospital bed for days..i dun care if doc wanna drip me..with 10 pack of dat thing..i dun care!

I miss my own talent--singing

in lab wif khad,,m bored and just screw my life 30 minutes ago~i ate my pills before lunch..n now,,i mean jap g pengsan..thumbs up,,kalo nk bnuh dri xsusah pn juz take another tablet..(start calling cken and tell hantar ak g hospital now --if)..and if i ever collapse on my bed pn no one ever care..so dats a piece of life i had,,i have mountain of stuff to do~juz keeping mysev busy...but juz now!!!d drama was so...urghhhhhh..damn~i was so segan till i dun wanna go out frm d toilet..sigh..bodo la bodo~~chill aisya u shud juz chill..anyway~my lucky charm amulet had turn into bad luck seance..but i made it to d final..miss said she loves our script!!!which is my script..lol..suddenly i miss singing..i had stop for 4 years (ehm ehm ehm..testing2)..my mariah carey song (terbawak2 ngan tira~~jelez2 tira still sing)..i miss geng jules main band (the bandage sengal) aidie --sepoyo2 manusia kt dunia..sometimes i feel like poking him with his celo!!and Ayish!!!!wherz my song dat i wrote form 4 dlu????hish2..i miss my nasyid gang as well~tho fana sarcasm killing me,m d second vocals...yeay..i bumped into our snap2 laz nyte tho..

Sakit Hati

Huarghhhhhh..my head spinning like heli blade..for d past hour!!!!sakit hati yg teramat sgt!!stupid compensation assgnmnt and idiot drama..i hate everything dat we called assignment~feel like a trash~dala mmg kne treat like a trash!!!hmmmmmmmmmmm...penat la penat..gle la gle!!!!everyone juz need to stay 1 radius frm me..i hate crowds and working out to stay away frm those..and cool someone tell me there'z a kuching open for rugby...how m i suppose to noe!!!even i hadn't watch all black play for ages..u noe..we dun have supersports or espn in d HOSTEL..how pity,wow tooooooo pity...enough for d brag and sakit hati then i'll go fucked up all over again~spare the curse..walk d pain..(is dat a wisdom????) whatever i dun look like a wise person..now its 4 i haven't finish that idiotic assignmnt..i've been workin on it since yesterday!!!haih...sakit hati!!!for everything..i can't concentrate,i didnt eat my ubat cuz sakit hati---wif assgnmnts ++

Memory Lane

If You're Mine -everything i dream about, everything i talk about, one thing i can't live without...-( Marcos Hernandez, Monday, June 2009 , 10:43:13 PM )
Bona Cela (Saturday, May 30, 2009, 8:04:04 PM)
Missing Star (Yuna, June 2009)
Paranoid (Kanye West, June 2009 )
Matchbox Romance (Tiger Lily,June 2009)
Please Dont Leave Me ( Pink, July 2009 )
21 Gun (Greenday, Sunday, July 05, 2009, 2:17:55 AM)
Let It Go (Cavo, Sunday, July 05, 2009, 12:19:35 AM )
Love At First Sight (Jay Brannan, Tuesday, July 21, 2009, 4:30:36 PM)
Be With You (Akon, October 2009)
Unknown Song (ZH, Saturday, November 14, 2009, 4:28:59 AM)

tiring

i am so sorry bloggie..err (why??) cuz m such a bad health slave,trust me..everyday i slept at 11..even now..d headache killing me..m just dropping by to check on journal..ahhhh..brc open day tiring..hmm..anyway..whatever,m off..cuz i cant barely stare too long on d screen and i dun hav blogger on phone..and dat stupid reload thing isnt working..

Wednesday Back!Stupid Joke!

Diz morn, i woke up dizzy and puke whatsoevr~lalala for me,,went to claz like normal wednesday i had,,believe me whatever i read laz nyte was nothing but a waste,,preparing mysev dat wasn't dat well prepared,,i was stupefied by my anxiety..yeah of course 100 metres walk caused me to loose 2 days energy bottle i suppose..d claz was awful wif suprises..Dr Khairil say out loud and point at me "u guarantee FAILED" arghhh..plez dun make me sum up my sucks emotion math..erghhh..he laughed hard like diabolic psychopath y bru lepas killed someone (he gotta check his last karyotypes XYY gene was so obvious in him)..suddenly!!!!time2 my head my heart my limb my intestine my kidney wanna blow every liquid dey ever had he annouced d name..I DIDNT FAIL AT ALL!!!IN FACT I WAS AMONG THE LUCKY FEW PPL WHO PASSED!!!darn dr khairil made my adrenaline punch my tummy like boxing game~his jokes was a crazy idiotic supplement to my heart rate!!my pale cheek went even paler..10% of d claz passed and d leftover failed..gosh,how he marked paper anyway..i got 20++ over 30 (Dr K was really violating his lecture ethics-kejam)..d thing is he noe me~and his psychotic lecture claz was spooky,,i had to die every wednesday nite for his claz,,"read textbook before claz..yada..yada..yada.."..rite now m having a rsult for stupid medical diagnose,,which end up with .."see ur doctor for further diagnose.." i was like "hah??".. m goin back diz April after exam~huuu (imagine Dr Kubendran saying diz "u ni y u so small"..yeah ryte doc. dun think i forget how u made my hand swollen like a bee stung..i hate him taking out my blood)..and fainted on d chair was so embarrassing!! gez i can't do futsal anymore..haih,in case d ball went straight to my cervix bone gosh!i had a stupid flow of ovarian cycle!loosing blood for 3 weeks~imagine..i was suppose to be a vampire but somehow my blood drained out..jeez,pathetic aint it???ryte now is not a good time for problems so..i need to keep at least 1 radius frm trouble dat will trouble my body system (carbonated drink-say NO)..no stress (yeah ryte i have 3 assignment due diz week) m so busy wif faculty,debate,stupid organizer..BUNGA RAYA open day..sure next week m gonna collapse like pentagon on 11th september..whoaa..my head really had a big bang now,daa~

Just Listen.Explain No More.Find ur Own Answr

I have emotion damage..heart damage..attitude damage..i give up explaining..because its all d truth i had,,wat shud i said?i cheat i lied?I AM NOT!!!dats y i justify mysev as innocent..y it always me indulge and screwed in diz thing..not my fault..i dun even start..i never start wen i see clear argument..i dun wanna but u did..I HAVE NO BOYS..AS IN MORE THAN ONE BOY IN MY LIFE..wat is so hard to see..come and see for ursev..or try put a stalker on me..and d answer will be ZERO!!!cuz m not lying..i hate ppl accuse me..keep accusing and keep on doing d accused thing..it hurts my frontal lobe..who shud i screw now..my friend?the one dat behave like a complete sarcastic idiot..or my boyfriend?who keep accusing me for things i NEVER done..arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..this is freakin me out..okay everyone..buckle up i'm goin to mars..and never coming back..laz nyte was awful..i have migrain and everything,,just thinking how and what truth dat u want exactly..shall i shot mysev 3 time in front of u?den only u believe me..ahhhhh screw everyone..m not gonna curse..i had changed!!!i'm never a PLAYER..LIAR..screw everyone..screw!!!!!can i just please at least get a hearing???cuz..i have no one to talk to..m all alone in diz case and i cant drag others into diz..diz is so pathetic..i hate to be sick everytime i have a fyte!!!!i dun wanna!!!i hate fyte!!!please just listen..cuz m just gonna tell u for d laz time..i have nothing to do wif other BOY!!!

U HURT ME

how m i suppose to write wif bling2 in my eye..all of d few hours was nonsense,,hmm,i dun wanna say things anymore,,i just a SOMEONE to think..syezly it hurts,imagine for the past month u keep urself in an ice cube..m the only one trying to making him see..wats wif everything..but wen my effort always end up sucks..it hurts me..cuz 1. i did not lie..2. what do i get by lying 3. whoelse gonna be accused as my bf next?? it does hurt me wen he's not listening..an argument that end up wif -sigh- and barging into freaky lines..m d one who always wif justification..sometime u just have friends dat act like a crazy brat..but wat can u do..u cant change them..and they dun have place in my heart,,dey just fill spaces in my brain wif deir stupid sick jokes..why think so complicated???i always the one who being accused with all of those lunatic stuff..i dunno why he didnt see my effort..i dunno why he didnt see my honesty..BECAUSE MAYBE he didnt see how do i feel...he didnt see how much i hang on wen he being cold..he didnt see anything BUT FAULTS..i mean my FAULTS..not his..he sees it clearly like a 78 font times new roman on the wall..and u can see it like with or without vision 20/20..do a lil thinking cuz u hurt me so much..(hope no one read diz) m gonna keep diz for myself..it does hurts

Weekend Disaster

its been days m not into diz blog..haih..tiring day..i lost my time on stupid pidato competition,,heee,,crap!!killing my time,suddnly m not into bands,music and everything..i wanna silence,i need space for silence..wonder wats gotten into my head diz weekend..after saturday passed den only i realize i hav like alps high assignment!wen diz semester gonna be over..yeeah,,worrying bout uncle some more.(in fever again)..hmm,,my life had turn to be pathetic diz weekend,doing unconscious stuff,lepaking wif ese gang,but honestly,,it was an empty,shallow laugh and dat was just a reflex talk..my brain wasnt ther,,its home..on bed,a cup of tea wif lemon..my brainy is not mentally ther,its everywher,wif uncle and perhaps 2% in disneyland..urghhh..what m i doing in diz life?hahaha..someone will listen? who????the biggest question dat even my mouth cant answer,,ages and getting older..forget about others,forget about ppl come and comfort u..m nothing than a shallow weak girl????i will never show dat!!!,discrepancy within my brain,heart,working limbs..its just messed up..headache..dats killing me,to know and resistant mixed up,,options like a suicide for me..fhew~~i hav no idea wen diz thought gonna end,,m not gonna make diz blog as my second journal,,one is enough..(my fav tagline ONCE IS ENOUGH TWICE IS TOO MUCH) just thinking of sleeping and go away frm problems..i help ppl but wher are they when i need one???how funny diz life,,m being nicce all the time,helping,comforting,supporting,careful wif my lines..i believe wat goes around comes around..but i just realize that MAYBE this world isnt round..instead its rectangle,pentagon shaped or what..huh..i hate wen it comes to diz measurement..m off..see ya in other post (if therz anyone reading)