Monday, May 17, 2010

Me and THAT Past

i try i try to forget ..but u cut me so deep..u cut me so deep
lyke dat song super much,m back,,after awhile hidin sumwher in my own soul..lookin for lights and maintainence,yet..m still blot out and drown in consternation..oh please,its half past may,so i hav new goals for newcomin semester..whats in past juz leave..well i noe my feel sooo much..i dunno why its damn hard for me to get mysev outta such thing..LOVE reli a big vocab for me,dats d thing dat shakes me at 3 and cry eventually..dats the thing dat teach me how to bleed without blood..dats d thing dat make me close my eyes so tight wen i passed another boy in d hallway cuz i hav him only in my life..dats d thing that teach me how to understand and how does it feel when ppl understand..learn how to sacrifice..learn not to build things in lies..learn not to be other person and keep being me..learn to give..learn to let things go..learn to rebuild life..learn to hold d endless pain everytime memory play d film without sound in either sleepless or conscious.. learn to stand up alone..learn to hang on to faith and self motivation (as hard as psychotherapy) wen thez no one around to lean on..learn to pat my own shoulder..learn patience ..learn to forgive (d most important thing)
Ryte now,tho i miss those memories,tos good time..but i noe,d door is closed for me..thers no more my name..dats okay if he didnt noe but,diz mental is all over him..still insane,crazy about him..i reli wanna go..but my feet stuck,wish somebody can drag me least away frm d front hard diz vocab create path for me..(bersemangat!!!aisya can do it).n i miss d old me d used to be strong..told is smth i fear..its not dat i dun believe it but thing dat make about it..seem inexplicable and totally thorny..huwaaa..please make it still scream d same name for d past hundreds still crave for d same redolence eversince it started..
Okay enaough,m gonna brag on new thing soon,and please i wana be enthusiastic!so more issues comin up in d next post..its all bout things i do i my uni for diz entire dungeon days..huhu..cheers for all cheer for my heart (for being stronger) back soon =)

No comments: